I'm back! (Part 1)

Today's routine:

Woke up > Had breakfast with the family > Watched an episode of 'Entertainer' > Surfed the net > Read yesterday's and today's newspapers > Read a magazine > Had lunch > Watched a Taiwanese entertainment show on TV (Jacky Wu game show in Korea!) > Watched anime > Read a book > Dinner > Supper > Blogging right now!

This is what I call a good weekend :D Heh I haven't had many of such relaxing weekends ever since.. April(?) so I really treasure them now! Goodbye, stress and anxiety! And hello to restful and amazing weekends! I've waited so long for you! Come to mama! Let mama love you hahahha! 

Too much has happened over the past couple months and it's not quite possible to put everything down on record so I'm just going to blog about events as and when I recall them whilst typing (in no order of significance, though likely to be in reverse chronological order). It's impossible to translate the chaos in my mind into words anyway so here's a peek into my life over the past 3-4 months.

Dinner with the Yonsei exchange mates! 

Belated birthday celebration for Laun Shim 

Stay genuine, ever so clueless and happy-go-lucky always!

Reunion with Jamaica who flew in from Australia! <3 

(we all look like hobbits next to my roomie T.T)

Missing a few but the local gang's pretty much here! 

연세만세! YONSEI MANSE! (with the exception of the blue Ewha dude hahah)

I was absolutely knackered (British slang I picked up from my colleague!) by the time I knocked off around 7 pm - it's not so much the work but my recent physical condition, me thinks - so I was a little worried about how dinner would go.. but as it turned out, I needn't have worried after all. Despite my exhaustion, I had a fantastic time catching up with these precious exchange friends over dinner. I love that everyone's so genuine, so supportive of one another and so willing to share about their lives with each other.. :') Living in a society that's as emotionally closed off as ours, their candidness and sincerity are really things to be thankful for in life. All of us are such different individuals with different backgrounds, personalities, educational qualifications, careers etc. (we have an aspiring actor, a journalist, a lawyer, an industrial relations officer, a business development executive and a receptionist, all packed into the above picture) and yet, when you put us together, some wonderful magic that goes by the name of "friendship" happens. Plus, it's always fun to meet up with friends from other faculties because of their different perspectives on life (a refreshing change from all the stress, gloom and pessimism associated with law graduates these days - yes, even myself).

And about a week ago...

It was Daddy's birthday!

Happy Birthday, Daddy Dearest!

The humongous but beautiful cake that the sister ordered from Pine Garden's Cake! 

No idea why she got this particular design but the cream swirls were simply stunning *_* 

.. and pretty fun to play with too ^^ 

Oh, we brought the birthday boy for a dimsum buffet at Hai Tien Lo @ Pan Pacific Hotel and the food was pretty good by my standards, which says a lot about the food hahhah It's $68+++ per pax (every + for the $6 tea.. yes, drinks are not included in the buffet price) so it's important to plan what to order because you don't want to be filling your tummy up with cheap/lousy food! Gotta eat your money's worth! It isn't easy, considering that dimsum dishes are usually starchy/doughy and hence, very filling so remember to pace yourself and order wisely!

The 2 dishes of which each diner gets a serving - get them both!

As for the 2 dishes per table, we only tried the 'freshwater fish of the day, deep-fried with superior soya sauce' and 'chilled Boston lobster with fresh fruit salad', both of which are dishes I'll not order again. With regard to the fish, please, please, please ask the waiter/waitress about the type of fish in advance. We got catfish that day.. and well, both the appearance and the taste of the fish weren't very appealing, to say the least. I don't think I've ever had catfish before and I doubt I would like to have it again. I mean, its black, flat head, grayish-black body (immediately after it was served, I suspected it was a bottom dwelling fish cos of its shape and murky colour and urgh, I was right) and wide mouth reminded me too much of a particle reptil- ack I don't want to think about it ahahahah

In contrast, the lobster salad was good but I think the 5 of us finished the lobster meat in about.. 5 minutes? That works out to about 1 chopstick-full of lobster meat - which isn't very much - per person. There were loads of fresh fruits left of course but uh, if you're paying $74++ per pax, perhaps you would like something more substantial and pricey.

 Recommended: Deep-fried crispy cod with sesame seed served with mayo (oooh so good and tender), steamed barbecued pork buns (I love charsiewbauuu), fragrant fried carrot cake in XO chili sauce, steamed vegetarian dumplings with assorted mushrooms
Not recommended: Deep-fried crispy white bait fish (deep-fried batter, anyone?)

Recommended: Soups are decent but wayy too filling so go easy on those, fresh prawns done both styles (very fresh and sweet mmm!)

Not recommended: Didn't order much from these 2 pages but what we ordered, we liked

Recommended: Braised Ee-fu noodles, stir-fired seasonal green vegetables with sesame sauce

Not recommended: Porridges - filling and nothing to shout about, wok-fried rice with crab meat, egg and spring onion (not sure if I didn't enjoy it cos I was already stuffed from the earlier dishes or if it was just too bland)

Just get them all to end off the meal heh

Post-haircut transformation into a boy :P

Mandatory post-lunch coffee/tea (at work)

 

Laurent Bernard Chocolatier

Very fancy cafe selling handmade artisan chocolates but... they're always serving me tea in these cups! The rest, all coffee drinkers, get their coffees in normal blue cups but I always seem to get the cartoonish ones. Not sure if these are the only tea cups they have or if it's because of me HAHA (not that I'm complaining XD I really liked the bunny cup!)

Time for sleep so the rest will have to wait till tomorrow!

Late night thoughts

I haven't been here for close to a month (wow). That's what work does to me, huh?

I wanted to post about the lame ass inflatable race I went for last month but I'm not in the mood to do any typing. Perhaps.. tomorrow? (hopeful look)

I still have the wedding post (I know it's been 3 months!) too. (dry laugh) Soon, soon!

Maybe I should just focus on my other blog and its fishies?

The only way to go, is forward.

"8 exams, 8 hoops, 8 tries. 

It was less of a test of abilities and more a test of luck."

And now.. I'm relieved to say,

8 exams, 8 hoops, 8 tries.

All in, 

8 successes.

I'm not sure if it was just luck, divine intervention (trust me, I prayed a lot) or something else, but I am incredibly thankful to have made it through Part B. It has been a long 5-year journey since I first stepped into law school and with the release of the results, it feels almost as if I can proudly say that I've achieved something in life. To the self who has worked hard over the years, enduring sleepless nights and constantly pushing oneself beyond one's limits: 수고했어요. You've done a good job. Thank you for that. Part B may have been a case of 10 steps forward, 3 steps back but I trust that I can and  will emerge a better person. Rebuilding lost confidence is going to be immensely difficult (thanks ah you guys, getting paid $6k to shatter my self-confidence) but since I've already made it to this position today, I'm prepared to go all the way.

Fatigue

I've been feeling too tired to even eat these days.. Staring at the computer (or the thought of it) makes me nauseous now.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!

Nothing to do with Chinese New Year...

But they make me happy so in the post, they go!

It's late and I need to sleep so more pictures, fewer words.

CNY pasar malam at Jurong West - a must-visit every year.

Monkeys!

Love these colourful fluffy furry stick decorations - still remember how I used to decorate the house with them (twisting them into flowers and hanging them around)!

Mum had to "force" me to go shopping for new CNY clothes this year and I came across these adorable (but also horribly overpriced) cheongsams. Cute? Definitely! Worth $189? 'ell no.

I totally loved the cute eggy design though :3

Next up, the mandatory Chinese New Year haircut (to usher in luck for the new year)...

(which ended disastrously, as usual)

Hairstylists are my mortal enemies. 

It really is that difficult to cut a straight line, isn't it? 

If not, I don't see why my fringe gets messed up every. single. larking. time.

Nomnom..

On a happier note, got my salted egg potato chips from Irvins (www.irvinsaltedegg.com)! The chips aren't as tasty as I thought they would be because well, salted egg = goodness, anyone (unfortunately, the snack's unpopular at home) but it's a refreshing change from the usual CNY goodies.

The day before CNY eve..

Our yearly tradition - Chinatown visit! 

(we braved the crowds and the rain!)

Chinatown (and CNY) feels different without my grandmother and this is probably the time of the year when I find myself missing her the most. I hope you're happy wherever you are.,

CNY eve..

CNY Reunion Dinner at the uncle's place

Prawns. Super lot of prawns.

Penguins wanted to join in the fun.. so we let them, heh.

CNY isn't complete without a temple visit and some praying so..

Gongxi, Gongxi, Gongxifacai!

Then off we went to River Angbao! I haven't been there since I was a kid so I really enjoyed the experience (: the bonus was of course, getting to see "Ah Long" (played by Ryan Lian) from <Long, Long Time Ago> hahahaha I think I took more photographs of the dude than the CNY lanterns combined (sheepish laugh)!

Had dinner at Marina Square first- check out those cheeky monkeys!

Most of my River Angbao pictures are in my camera so those will come later!

Monkey see, Monkey Do!

Day 7 of CNY: 人日 (aka 人人的生日!)

捞鱼生啊！发啊！HUAT AH!

응답하라 1988: 一個人的快樂

PS: The wedding post has got to wait because.. writer's block >< so I'll post on more recent events in the meantime first!

응답하라 1988 ❤

I've been watching the third installment in the Reply 1988 series and I simply love and adore it so much. I will leave it to drama recapper, girlfriday from Dramabeans, to sum up why the drama is receiving copious amounts of love and support from a significant portion of its domestic audience and myself: 

"1988 is truly an ensemble piece that focuses on family first. The episodes are primarily about the love between parent and child, siblings, or neighbors... 1988, in contrast, is about the warmth of a community that shares its burdens and its joys with one another, and how they come to form one large family. (And of course 1994 is a mix of both, by bringing a group of outsiders together under one roof as they transition into adulthood.) 1988 is less about growing up in the eighties and more about growing up on one street, though the nostalgia is in the fact that communities like that just don’t exist anymore. At the center of that is the truly enviable friendship between three ajummas, who trust each other with their hardships and share what little they have. And in a dramaland where it’s becoming increasingly difficult to meet anyone in the middle class, it’s always refreshing to get a slice of the normal pie. I love how true to life and homey the depiction of everyday life is on this street: The moms share food as an extension of their love, and their warmth quite literally gets passed down to the next generation. Proximity is all it takes, but that’s often all it really takes for lifelong friendships to form in real life."

The Kim Family

There is so much to be learnt (from the drama) about family, friendship, love (in all forms and types), community and really, about people in general. I was especially heartened to see that the writers devoted an episode each to the mothers and fathers of the show.. and gave these oft-neglected characters their own stories and character development, going beyond the typical portrayal of them as someone's parent and nothing more. When we're growing up and preoccupied  (for some, self-indulgent even) with self-discovery and finding our way in life, it is sometimes too easy to forget that apart from their roles as parents, parents too are someone's precious son or daughter, someone's beloved grandchild, someone's sibling (and the list goes on) and if we cast even all that aside, they are individuals - just like you and me - with similar dreams, aspirations and ambitions. They are as human as we are, as vulnerable as the people they seek to protect (strong as they may seem) and as fallible and flawed as everyone else. No one is born to be a parent and the sad truth (that many of us may struggle to accept) is that some people will simply never truly step up to the challenge and learn how to be a good, responsible parent to their children. It is a depressing reality, more so for their children, but that's just how it is. We may not find the strength to accept such a reality but the very least we could do (as children) is to step into their shoes and try seeing the world from their perspectives. In this sense, Reply 1988 is a timely and poignant reminder for children/youths, in their transition to adults, to grow out of the burdensome and sometimes irksome sense of entitlement they feel they have and understand what it really means to love and respect their parents. Oh, and did I mention that the casting for the parents were perfect? They shone so warmly and brightly, I think they're going to stay in the hearts of many for a long while to come.

"Dads don’t automatically become dads the moment you’re born because it was my first time being a dad" - Sung Dong Il

 

"When true love manifests, it doesn’t allow one to be concerned over one’s pride and causes one to cast it aside. That is why mothers are strong." - Sung Bo Ra

It helps that I enjoy shows set in the 80s and 90s very, very much - boy, I'm totally diggin the 80s fashion - because of the nostalgia and longing for certain things long past our time and generation..

A time without cellphones and computers but an age filled with friendship and love.

I've been recommending the drama left, right and centre but sadly, it appears that no one's interested in joining me on the Reply train :( which is a huge bummer.. and real disappointing to be honest (sigh). I'm only recommending it because it's so ridiculously goooood and well, good things have to be shared (hahah someone should have seen me when I was recommending "Our Times" to my junior college friends - I was so excited and all). I've been receiving such warm and positive feelings from the drama and I really believe that it's something worth sharing with the people who matter to me because everyone should get a slice of this pie of happiness! ^^ Watching it would also help draw us closer because the drama suddenly transforms into a collective experience where we reflect on ourselves, our passing youths and our lives together. Alas, no one has taken me up on the offer.

Part of the reason why I think I was so happy in Seoul is because I was surrounded by people who understood, appreciated and loved the Korean culture, be it the language, food, music, country etc. It is so, so important to have people who enjoy the same things as oneself, to engage in those activities together, to share the same feelings because this is when one truly feels alive. Back here, it's been a solo adventure thus far and a pretty lonely one at that. What good is it to have all the fantastic dramas, songs, movies etc in the world when one has no one to share it with? Imagine being a football fan in a family which knows zilch about ball sports, or an aspiring hiphop rapper in a family which looks down on that genre of music - it's not going to be of much fun.

                          Friendship goals.                        Cute lil Jinjoo and her ever reliable big bro

Would anyone like to hop on the Reply train?

Dongryung, Jungpal, Deoksun, Sunwoo, Taekki

"I could not return to my youth or that street either. Time always flows. Everything passes by and ages. That might be why youth is beautiful. Because it shines, blindingly bright at a brilliant short moment. But you can never go back (to it). A time when many tears was shed – like my youth." - Deok Sun 

2nd milestone in a week

First day of work.

The day I've been dreading so much has finally arrived.. I've made it through the first day but I didn't enjoy a single minute of it (or at least I don't think I did).. and I believe that I'll continue to dread the remaining 120+ working days. Sigh..

Hearing about my friends' nightmarish experiences at their firms (one has been working both nights and weekends and it's only her third week?!) has filled me with so much fear and anxiety, I don't even know how to face the remaining (6 months - 1 day), much less the next 5-10 years. Is this really the life I want? Am I even allowed to want something else?

I think my productivity and more importantly, happiness level would be so much higher at home but society or reality doesn't care about any of that, not in Singapore at least.

This article on how Sweden is going to introduce a 6-hour work day is so apt right now and these sentences sum up how I feel work should be like: "Employers across the country have already made the change, according to the Science Alert website, which said the aim was to get more done in a shorter amount of time and ensure people had the energy to enjoy their private lives... ... the new work day would ensure people have enough energy to pursue their private lives when they leave work – something which can be difficult with eight-hour days." Yes, precisely. Why does work have to entail the giving up of daylight activities, of weekday morning walks, of weekday anythings (for those in my line of work), of regular family gatherings, of regular friends gatherings etc.? Perhaps I'm being greedy or some may say naive, idealistic but really, why do we have to accept the way things are when we know that it could be so much better? Why do we have to stick with the inflexible and demanding rat race system when we have a choice to focus on the intangibles instead? Does it make sense to sacrifice precious time with our families just to earn more money (to make their lives better) when the former counteracts the latter? I totally get why we need to work and earn money.. and I will do it, just that I won't be happy.

I hate how the secretaries kept rushing from one table to another frantically. I hate how they kept mumbling to themselves because they had simply too many things to handle at a go. I hate the lack of human interaction (but it could be just me,. that I should take the initiative more).. I hate the lack of warmth (and how no one extended a friendly hand to me).. I hate how socially disconnected we are.. I hate having to put on a smile and acting like I enjoy the work (I do enjoy having work at times but work satisfaction's one thing and having to act like I want more-more-more-work-because-I-have-to-be-an-excellent-trainee is another).. I hate having to make meaningless small talk.. I hate that the other trainee already knows everyone else in the firm and has established good rapport with all of them already.. (it makes me feel even more alone) and most of all, I hate how socially awkward, anxious, inadequate (anxiety better not be the catchword of 2016 - I will make sure of that. I've had enough of you, anxiety!) I am.

It could be the stress/exhaustion from Part B, helping to plan the wedding and having to prepare for work (hahah kiddin', not like I had the time to do anything) but I've been so unhappy lately. I feel like I will burst into tears at any time of the day. At work, I miss my sister, my mum, my friends, my house, my freedom, my fridge, my toilet (the office toilet is situated outside of the office), SMU(!) and basically everything outside of work. When I get home, I look at my sister's empty room and I miss her so much. It's tough knowing (and accepting) that no one will compete with me for the toilet in the mornings, that no one will lounge lazily on my bed at nights, that no one will entertain me when I'm feeling down, that no one will attack me with her chouchou, that I can't attack her with my chouchou hahah and the list goes on. (ah I have more to type but sleep beckons. Work and early nights, urgh)

Anyway, as always, horoscope readings which never fail to surprise me with their oh-so-coincidental predictions:

Horoscope for the day: An important career concern could require considerable effort on your part today in order to enable you to advance whatever it is you're trying to accomplish, Leo. (yes, 'considerable effort', yes) At some point during the day, you may be plagued by doubts as to your ability to do this. (what do you mean "at some point during the day"? It's more like "every moment of the day," I'm plagued by self-doubt) However, don't let this cause you to panic. All you need is to muster a little energy and stay focused on the task at hand. Believe that today you're capable of accomplishing wonders. (I wish I had someone to tell me this today)

Horoscope for tomorrow: Professional interests continue to expand, Leo, and you're managing to keep very busy. (busy is good but busy is also bad..) Your income is rising, and you could be achieving a certain prominence in your field. Nonetheless, you could be looking for new opportunities. The field you're in now may not be one that you want to continue for the next 20 years. (oh really) This is therefore a good day to put out a few feelers and test the waters. You might be surprised at the opportunities out there.

Hang in there, Madeline. Have faith in yourself. You can do it.

Up next: First life milestone in a week - the bunny sister got married! <3 This deserves a special post on its own so anticipate that! *\(^~^)/*