Sunday, February 22, 2015

Throwback Sunday


HAHA chanced upon this when I was looking through one of the rarely-viewed photo albums! Angry Birds, ft. Maddie! XD This was probably taken two years ago - gosh, I sure looked fresh and young then! Now, I'm ready to move in with Jia Jia and Kai Kai already.. -.-

On a different note, I think it's real important to appreciate the little things in life. So it's worth mentioning that today, I enjoyed a cup of Chinese tea very much :) I also watched a feel-good movie.. I had conversations with my parents. Ooh and I slept in this morning (what a luxury!)!! Then, the question is, "do these make me any happier a person?"

Perhaps, perhaps.

Saturday, February 21, 2015

I'm.. still a kid.

I should quit the whining and stop being a brat about what he's doing, shouldn't I?

I myself think it's childish and petty at times but then again, am I not entitled to this at the very least? Am I not.. (hesitant)?

Do I always have to be all grown-uppish and be the sensible, understanding and empathetic one? Can't they (and perhaps the subconscious me as well) just give me a break and let me act like a kid sister for once? Can't they put themselves in my shoes and feel what I'm going through?

Sometimes, all I wish is for someone to be genuinely concerned about what I feel for a change.

(I laugh it off, as I always do.. but that doesn't mean I don't feel anything.)

Oh, and a note to self - do learn to be more tactful with people! Not everyone appreciates my directness hah.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

1 Year Ago...

One year ago, I started on my journey in the land of Kimchi...

Yonsei University
Thank you for all that you have taught me;
 and the beautiful memories you have left me with. 
I miss you.

 This is what happiness looks like (:
Free of the shackles of society, free to run wild in the world.

Exclusive never-before-seen Maddie the Panda (hahahhaah)
Amazing journey of self-discovery loll

This remains one of my favourite photographs taken in Korea. 
Incidentally, it was also our very first photo in my friend's camera. 
(I may have posted this countless times haha)
All the feelings expressed in the picture - of joy, of bashfulness, of awkwardness (look at the distance!), of eagerness (to get close to each other), of free-spiritedness - are so precious, so dear.

Life in Korea was not always a bed of roses - some of the loneliest and unhappiest days in my life were spent there - but at the same time, the experience has brought me immeasurable happiness and taught me invaluable life lessons. Then again, I still think that the decision to go on exchange has been an immensely selfish one (and which has also unfortunately led to many regrets for me) but since there's no turning back time, all I can say right now is that I'm glad and grateful the exchange trip to Korea happened.

Time flies and it's kinda hard to believe that it has already been a year since I left Singapore for Seoul. One whole year! Till today, I'm still amazed that I even went on the trip haha (sure takes long to sink in huh!) but alas, the memories aren't as distinct anymore.

But this journey hasn't ended. I know that.

I'll be back, Korea.

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Mid-Term Sorrows


It's the end of week 6 and I have 5 projects coming up and 2 research papers to write.

Oh, and I'm just done with 2 mid-term examinations (haven't had those in a long time).

I don't think any other semester can possibly top this record.

Like seriously, is this really the last semester of school?

When I was a sophomore, I envisioned the final semester to be one that would be relaxing with say, two to three slack modules, to be a time when we can truly revel in the joy of learning, where we can enjoy the company of our friends to the fullest and basically, just sit back, unwind and graduate. Somehow, things didn't go the way I wanted and here I am, saddled with this incredulous workload and weekly quizzes that irritate me to no end. I'm just going with the flow (chug-chug-chug-chug) - mindlessly or not, I'm not sure - but wow, just wow.

(Have I become weak?)
(or do I just need a break away from all these?)

Friday, February 13, 2015

The Importance of Health: Stay healthy, Stay happy.

It's terrifying to know how psychological stress can negatively impact one's physical well-being.

Last year, I learnt that one of my friends had to miss a few months of school due to a skin disease brought on by stress (the doctor figured it was caused by stress because the condition was uncommon) and those were difficult months for him. Apart from angry red welts - I think it was contagious - on his body, he felt tired and lethargic all the time and he hardly ventured out of his house during that entire period. I can hardly imagine how frustrated and lonely he must have felt then. It's scary how psychological stress weakened his immunity system to the extent that the uncommon viral infection was able to set in (I can't remember what his condition was but I hope I will never have to find out) - and in the process, actually worsened the state of mind he was in.

Since then, I've been careful in managing my stress levels but boy, it's really tough(!) when one is living in a pressure cooker environment and the mind is something that is immensely difficult to control. It's also my first time experiencing such (extreme) physiological effects of mental stress (haha no, pre-exams tummyaches do not count) so it got quite alarming at some point. I think my stress levels spiked midway through last semester - no thanks to dino and post-exchange withdrawal - and the effects were frightening to say the least. There was the in-class anxiety attacks, the heart attack scare (this freaked me out big time), the inexplicable skin allergy and the constant la du zi-ing (gosh, and on a daily basis! This was the most serious symptom and lasted the longest as well..), Suffice to say, it was a horrible experience. Both the mind and body were suffering.. T.T

Now, I try even harder not to let stress get to me but.. it's challenging (just what is university life doing to meeeee?!). Just last night, I experienced numbness in my right arm (it lasted till today and contributed to the ugliest handwriting ever in my morning exam - the writing was so hideous, I didn't even know I was capable of it) and this afternoon, the numbness spread to my left arm. To not know what exactly is going on with one's body - the fear of the unknown? That fear is crippling. Oh, and something real coincidental and funny - my horoscope reading for the week actually predicted that I might be pushing myself too hard lately, impacting my health and work and suggested that I should shed a couple of commitments! This was even before the stress symptoms (think 'pukey' sensations and stomach discomfort) started this week so yeah, 太准了! Haha I think I may have been too hard on myself lately and/or that my self-expectations are too high but we'll see what I can do about that.

Learning point: It's really important to be both mentally and physically healthy. Don't ignore the SOS calls from your body and give yourself a break whenever you think you need it. It's not worth screwing up your health just for grades and a better (short-term) future. Life is long, we only have one body. In other words.... I think it's time for me to sleep now and leave the project for tomorrow morning hahaha :P

Hopefully, I will be able to squeeze in some Sheldon-time tomorrow! ^^
(Pssst, I'm really in love with The Big Bang Theory series now but more on that another time!)

Goodnight!

Note to self: 
Post on Christmas surprise still in the works
Post on Taiwan trip still in the works
Challenge: To finish all the draft posts!