Today

I just overheard a very bizarre conversation in the toilet.

Girl: Wah - just now I had such a bad stomachache in class.
Friend: Oh no, then how?
Girl: Right after class, I chiong-ed off, chiong to go shit.
Friend: Where did you go (shit)?
Girl: SOB toilets there lor.

It's completely bizarre for two reasons:
1. Why would you even ask where your friend went to shit (I was like, WHUT?! Asking out of courtesy or genuine interest?!)??
2. Even if your friend asked, why would you tell your friend the exact location where you took a dump??! (you have been warned. steer clear of SOB loos lol!)

Kids can sometimes be so weird these days.

That pretty much sums up the time spent in school today. Strange and uncomfortable.

Thankfully, lunch and dinner took place outside of those damn green walls so at least, I got to see a little bit of sunshine and some fresh air.

I had lunch with a friend I've not seen in a while (and that felt good). It hurts to see my reassuring presence looking so worn out though. On a brighter note, I finally got to try Momolato again! They no longer have the delicious strawberry ice cream that I tried 7 months ago (so sad!!!) but hazelnut's fine too. It.. tasted like a milkier version of Ferrero Rocher. The lunch got me thinking about some real serious stuff but I think I'm just too tired right now to think much haha I just spaceeeeed out when I was eating my ice cream. I was also supposed to work on my research paper after lunch but since I feel quite out of sorts (aka in no state to do equity), I ended up doing my ethics readings. Somewhat not useful readings but at least I feel like I'm getting some work done and not merely wasting time. Equity will have to work till tonight..

Time to go for dinner now, till then!

Happy thoughts (:

I'll find something happy and merry to post about soon! Until then, have a great week, everyone!

Sometimes, it's okay to stop focusing on being happy and just focus on living.

I haven't been in the best frame of mind to do much work today (I know the research paper's deadline is ticking away) so I shall just have an early night for once!

May tomorrow be a better day, I sincerely hope.

Hello and Goodbye

A friend is away in a foreign land for the next 4 months.

It's not as if we meet each other that often when we're all in the same country, but it just feels different knowing that he's 2776.91 miles away. That's awfully far.

Have fun though! (: And see you back next year!

Irreversible damage.

There are some things that must never be said to certain people. You can't just take it back and pretend nothing happened, not without an apology.. but honestly, I'm not even sure what such an apology will be worth or if it even has any significance at all. You cannot simply go around stabbing people's hearts and then expect an apology to suddenly make things right. Nobody in this world should be allowed to do this. These wounds don't heal, I'll have you know it, and some things can never be forgotten.

As if that weren't bad enough, you forced me into a corner and made me say equally damning things I didn't mean. I never meant to hurt you the same way you did to me, but if turning into a heartless monster is the only defensive mechanism I have, then don't blame me. Please stop before things escalate any further. Take responsibility. Make amends.

If you can't make things better, at the very least don't make things worse.

等 一個人 咖啡 語錄 (Cafe, Waiting, Love)

＂這個世界上，每一個人，都在等一個人。＂ （天使）

我知道我為什麼喜歡你，但你為什麼會喜歡上我呢？我... “沒什麼特別”，“比普通人還要普通”。（思螢）

（對呀.. 有時還真這麼想...）

＂每一個人都在等一個人，等待一個能看見你與眾不同的那一個人。＂ （天使）


（看來，我是還沒等到這個人啊..）

What a strange dream indeed.

A Reminder:

You're treading on dangerous ground.

Remember what you said about him,

And let it all stay where it belongs - the dream.

Envy, if any, must remain as just that,

Do not waver and lose the balance..!

Guilt

Alright, I admit it.

I can't focus on school.

I can't focus on studying.

I can't focus on the things going on around me.

What should I do?

Hunt for the best Korean cuisine in Singapore

제일 맛있는 팥빙수!

Maddie's guide to 팥빙수s (pronounced 'pat-bing-su') in Korea!

I have many friends creating lists of the best patbingsu they've had in Korea so I decided to create my very own list too, for the benefit of anyone who's travelling to Korea as well as my future travels (memory's not perfect haha) :D

1. 희동아 엄마다 ** (the BEST bingsu I've ever had in Korea)

Chocolate Mochi Cake (a tad too pricey for my liking)

Where: Seoul, Jongno-gu Sogyeok-dong 104
서울 종로구 소격동 104
General location (and nearest train station): Samcheongdong, Anguk Station (Line 3)
Yummy meter:
The slightly sweet ice is extremely delicate and melts in your mouth instantly. Apart from the great consistency of the ice's texture, there is a layer of red beans and peanut powder sandwiched in the bowl of ice, ensuring that every scoop comes with an even mixture of ice, milk, red beans and peanut powder. Absolutely lovely dessert. It is definitely on the pricey side - a normal patbingsu costs around 6000-8000W but this costs 12,900-13,900W ($16-17). Definitely worth it though!
How to get there: (I used GoogleMaps)
Take Exit #1 of Anguk Station, walk straight past Starbucks (around 400m) till one reaches the fork at Yulgok-ro-3-gil. One will pass by Songadang (red signboard on right) and Ming Wen Tang (blue signboard on left). Turn left (Gallery Plant on right), walk straight and turn right when one sees Guk Dae Tteokpokki. Cross the junction to Paris Baguette and continue walking along the street. The café is down an alley on the left.

To learn more: Visit this site (it has a map with an aerial view of the Samcheongdong area) and this blog for more information.

2. 호밀팥
Where: 4-77 Changcheon-dong, Seodaemun-gu, Seoul, South Korea
서울특별시 서대문구 창천동 4-77
General location (and nearest train station): Sinchon, Sinchon Station (Line 2)
Yummy meter:
How to get there:
To learn more:

3. 팟팟팟 (PodPodPod)

Where: 52-85 Changcheon-dong, Seodaemun-gu, Seoul, South Korea
서울특별시 서대문구 창천동 52-85
General location (and nearest train station): Sinchon, Sinchon Station (Line 2)
Yummy meter:
How to get there:
To learn more:

4. Holly's Coffee (Red Bean Patbingsu)

Where: Everywhere (just keep a look out for the cafe!)
General location (and nearest train station): Sinchon, Dongdaemun, Myeongdong Stations etc.
Yummy meter:
I love the dried dates chips!!! CRUNCHYYYY!
How to get there:
To learn more:

5. 밀탑 (MealTop)

Milk bingsu (top); Mixed fruits bingsu (bottom)

Bestseller: Milk bingsu
Where: 83 Sinchon-ro, Seodaemun-gu, Hyundai Department Store, Sinchon branch, 10/F, Seoul, South Korea
General location (and nearest train station): Sinchon, Sinchon Station (Line 2)
Other recommended locations (main branch): Hyundai Department Store, Apgujeong branch, 5/F, 429 Apgujeong-dong, Gangnam-gu (강남구 압구정동 429 현대백화점본점 5층) Click here for directions.
Yummy meter:
How to get there:

Take exit #1 at Sinchon station (Line 2). Walk straight and Hyundai Department Store should be on your right. Enter the Hyundai Department Store and take the lift to the 10th floor. [Tip: Store closes really early - around 8 or 9pm - so do visit it earlier!]

6. 설빙 (Seolbing or 'snow ice')
Where: Mapo-gu, Seogyodong, 358-37, Level 2 (I don't remember it being on the 2nd floor though)
General location (and nearest train station): Hongdae, Hongdae Station
Other locations: Sinchon, Ewha, Gangnam etc.
Yummy meter:
I tried 2 types of Bingsu
How to get there:
To learn more: If you're not salivating by now, you need to read this.

7. Cafe Benne

Where: Everywhere! (just keep a look out for the cafe)
General location (and nearest train station): Hyehwa Station, Sinchon Station etc.
Yummy meter:
I tried 2 types of bingsu - chocolate and oreo (please skip the latter if you have to eat your bingsu here). The ice was so coarse and hard, we had to bite down hard on them with every mouthful (texture worse than ice kachang!). It didn't feel like we were eating shaved ice, rather it tasted like bits and pieces of ice. The only redeeming point of the chocolate bingsu was that it came with brownie chunks and cornflakes (!!) so at least, it was enjoyable. The oreo bingsu was forgettable - just imagine layers of ice bits and crushed oreo. That's basically what it was.
How to get there:
To learn more:

8. 달수다 (Dalsuda)
Where: 366-12. Seogyo-dong, Mapo-gu, Seoul
General location (and nearest train station): Hongdae, Hongdae Station (Line 2)
Yummy meter:
How to get there:
To learn more: Visit this site to find out more about the types of bingsus offered and directions/map to the place.

9. Choco Blossom Café
Where:
General location (and nearest train station): Sinchon, Sinchon Station (Line 2)
Yummy meter:
How to get there: Take the subway to Sinchon Station (Line 2) and exit via U-Plex Departmental Store (which exit number?). Upon exiting the station, you should see a huge red mirror. Cross the road right next to the mirror towards the Nature Republic store. You should see a wooden installation (where people can sit). Walk straight for 200-250m (~5-7 mins) until you see a Tofu Soup place (insert picture). Turn right into the side street and you will see the stairs leading to Choco Blossom on your right (basement!).
To learn more: For very detailed directions (with photographs of the streets), please visit this site!

10. 옥루몽
Where:
General location (and nearest train station): Sinchon, Sinchon Station (Line 2); Dongdaemun Design Plaza walkway, Dongdaemun Station
Yummy meter:
How to get there:
To learn more: This blogger has a pretty comprehensive review of this place here.

11. (hmm bingsu place in Sinchon where I met Zenn)
Where:
General location (and nearest train station): Sinchon, Sinchon Station (Line 2)
Yummy meter:
How to get there:
To learn more:

Sinchon is teeming with bingsu cafés right now.

For more recommendations (if the sugar rush from above is still not enough), you can check out these articles: <6 best bingsu to beat the heat>, <9 Mega Awesome Places to Get Patbingsu in Seoul> and Seoul Eat's post! ^^ (slurps)

Offer: $10 for a tummyache, comes with a free beer!

 

I think baby Groot can dance better than me.

At least that's what I think after a night out at Clarke Quay last Friday. What was originally meant to be dinner spilled over into a drinking session (no surprise since our company for the night were Korean students) and after some amusing encounters with drunk people at the pub (more on that in a while), we were invited to enter the indoor dance floor for free! It was quite funny though because we looked and felt so terribly out of place in there. We were a group of teens (or young adults if you'd prefer) in casual attire, with backpacks, canvas bags, sneakers and all. To make things even more awkward, I was probably the only girl in the group who was in t-shirt (at least it was an expensive shirt but...*buries face in hands* ahaha) and shorts. Oh, the horror. The people in there were mostly adults, the majority of whom were non-Asians (save for a group of Thai tweenyboppers) so we really stood out.. for the wrong reasons. Hahaha it wasn't too bad for most of the Koreans since they enjoy dancing/clubbing - think sexy girl groups, albeit in inappropriate attire - but me? I can't dance for nuts! I just stood there, bobbed along to the music and out of the corner of my eye, I spied this other group of ladies checking us out and possibly, sniggering. I think my Bape monkey was all ready to make a dash for the door.

I believe we were given complimentary access to the dance floor because the pub singer made the request (since we were extremely enthusiastic and supportive of her singing *embarrassed cough*) and we were initially all thankful-was-it-excited-drunk-on-air-or-something but nayyy.. wrong venue, wrong attire, wrong crowd. We lingered in there for slightly over half an hour before we decided enough (awkwardness) was enough and left for home. The girls managed to get free shots of some fruity drink/alcohol from a whistle-toting dude before we left.. but that was really something I disagreed with. *disapproving frown* I have heard about such practices before, where employees of the club/pub go around giving free shots to women (in a bid to get them drunk or high, I don't exactly know) but the manner in which this was done was distasteful, in my opinion. It's fine to offer the drinks in shot glasses, in syringes (yes, syringes -.-) or in some random vessel capable of containing liquids but.. blowing the whistle loudly, tilting the ladies' chins back and pouring the drink (from a bottle) into their open mouths one after another... are we sheep or something?! Or ducklings waddling into the farm to be fed? It's a harmless act for sure - both sides benefit, slurp - but it just looks absolutely demeaning from a bystander's perspective. I may be surprised, owing to the fact that this is only my second time on the dance floor (and first time witnessing the "feeding" routine) but I doubt this feeling will go away even on subsequent visits. Not forgetting the lack of hygiene bit - nah. That said, not everyone feels the same way. Not that they have to - people go to clubs to have fun anyway - but yeap, just sharing my thoughts on the new things I see and experience everyday! Whee.

Back to the pre-dance floor events, so there we were, an excited bunch of kids at the pub, grooving along to music. Rather than being high on beer, we were enthralled by the superb singing (she really is that good - a pity I can't remember the name of the pub.. but I do remember the location of the place!). Alas, any place with alcohol comes with an accompanying serving of drunks and one such man half walked, half stumbled to our table and interrupted our evening. Clearly sloshed, he made one of the Korean guys do a couple shot with him and fortunately, our friend was very friendly and accommodating. I felt slightly bad for the drunk man's lady companion though - she was visibly stressed out by her partner's wild behavior and when we left for the night, she was leaning against the wall next to the pub smoking, with a frown etched on her pretty face. Responsible drinking, people! If you know you can't hold your liquor well, don't go buying the hugestass bottle of champagne! The height of the bottle was comparable to that of a pail/bucket! The guy started off with downing glasses of champagne but when he was on the verge of losing control of his mental faculties (or perhaps he had already lost it, judging by his actions), he.. (holds back laughter) went to get a straw and starting sipping champagne from that hugeass bottle. It was like a 3cm straw sticking out of a 70cm-tall bottle. Funny leh. Bahahaha.

After he wandered away, spilling precious champagne all over the place and breaking our beer glass (that was just weird - no idea why his friend slapped him on the knee, causing him to drop the glass), this cherubic-looking Caucasian couple (in their 60s or 70s) came forward to the open area in front of our table and started dancing. (laughs more) The man was really hyped up and kept jio-ing guests to join him and his wife(?).

We weren't "spared" of course and.. there goes my very first out-of-school dance (see the pair of girls on the left - yeah, we danced exactly like them lollll)! To this stout, smiley, middle-aged man from who-knows-where! It's not anything bad.. but it was just so, ridiculously comical. I laughed till I almost lost my voice that night lol X)

It was a fun Friday night overall, meeting new people, making new friends, trying new food (some famous Bak Kut Teh stall across Clarke Quay) and of course, stepping out of my comfort zone. (: It reminded me once again that I shouldn't take beer - to spare my stomach the suffering the next day - but oh well, there's always a trade-off in life, ain't there.

Oh, and can someone teach me to dance? Haha wayy too stiff! (bahahahhaah)

Cheers?

Unconscionable Workload

I'm so incredibly stressed out by the equity module, honestly I'm not sure what I should do anymore. As the dino professor mentioned herself, there is no running away from this module. We will all have to take it sooner or later and depending on one's luck (or the lack thereof), the instructor might or might not be her again next semester. If it's the former again, lady luck must certainly have gone away on a long, long holiday. It's not that she's vicious or mean (sarcastic and not very empathising at most) but there is just this inexplicable huge, immense pressure I feel whenever I'm in her class. The thought of attending class frightens me to no end and it just makes me very unhappy. The weird thing here is that I actually recognise this to be an irrational fear, I know that the workload and dino are not as fearsome as I make them out to be (as evidenced by friends who adore her and her lessons), that this should be and must be something that I have to overcome but.. I simply can't control this. Perhaps the mind simply isn't strong enough or that even if I will myself to face this head-on (trust me, I've been trying), the body is unwilling. I say this because this has reached a point where it's really out of my hands. It is no longer a bad case of nerves - it has transformed into an automatic physical reaction to the thought/sight/experience of the class and this is something that isn't under my control. Twenty minutes into class and the discomfort starts to set in. My forehead grows warm, my head feels weighed down by five equity and trusts law textbooks, my eyelids start experiencing a burning sensation (I attribute this to the brightness of the screen but ever since I came back from Korea, my eyes can't seem to adjust to my laptop) and my head begins to hurt. I tell myself to relax, to breathe but it just. doesn't. work. My body isn't listening to my commands! Some people might think, "what's the big deal? it's just school and a single module so there's nothing to worry about," but know that I share the same sentiments as well, the only difference being that my body is putting me through shiat. (exasperated shrug)

It doesn't help that I haven't been feeling too well of late too.. I believe that it warrants a visit to the doctor but at the same time.. we're just hoping that I'll get better without having to seek medical help so.. no trip to the doctor. The problem is - this module (and its associated workload) seems to be worsening things. I don't like it but.. what can I do?

In any case, if anyone happens to bump into a post-equity me on Mondays, please understand if I look like this and if I'm in no state to chat.. because it's likely that my head would be hurting and the only thing I would like to do then would be to get out of school. An encouraging pat on the back would be useful.

Credit for t-rex image: http://www.dreamstime.com/royalty-free-stock-image-t-rex-dinosaur-vector-image4769716

Anomaly

For once, the blinding rays of the sun leave me desperate for the comfort of darkness.

The world is too bright, too confrontational, too uncomfortable today.