Melancholy

I realise I've been filled with a lot of negative feelings recently and it has made me irritable and moody at times; snapping at people when I don't really mean to and just feeling incredibly upset all the time.

I've been thinking of my grandmother a lot recently.. and missing the smiling, cherubic, kindly grandmother who fusses over us every Chinese New Year so, so much.. I started to ask her for hugs again during our visits in recent years but.. I simply can't recall if I hugged her last January.. and that kills me a little inside. Her passing reminds me of all my regrets.. and brings back so many unpleasant memories of everything else in life. The things I cannot unsee, the things I cannot unhear, the things I am not allowed to ever forget - haunting me every night and keeping me from sleep. On some days, it's just pain and more pain. And one wonders if the pain will ever end.

It really rains a lot these days, doesn't it?

Grad Trippin' BKK! [Day 4 and 5]

Days 4 and 5 were mostly spent at Chatuchak Market where everyone went crazy shopping hahah

Fantastic weather to shop in - it was warm but at least there were loads of cloud cover!

(left) Friends starting the day with da famous coconut ice cream! I'm not used to having ice cream for breakfast so sadly, had to give it a pass... until lunchtime when I finally found the ice cream vendor who is usually featured in food blogs - look out for the stall which serves its ice cream with a paper flag (see right)! Simply delicious! It's 35 baht (S$1.40) for a single scoop with 3 toppings and 55 baht for 2 scoops with 3 toppings.

Surprising find in the marketplace - a used bookstore (which carries mainly English books)!

By late afternoon, most of the clouds had dispersed and we were treated to an intense session of tanning, baking and frying altogether. Desperate to keep myself from melting into a puddle, I bought a straw fan... (IT WAS SCORCHING HOT) It was about 36 degrees at 2 pm - it was so hot, I had to check the temperature.

We eventually sought shelter in JJ Mall - I was tired and faint from lack of sleep and excessive heat - and got lunch at some fast food place. The fried chicken was good but meh, not a fan of fast food for lunches.

Lots of painting shops in JJ Mall!

Shop selling old advertisements that have been refashioned into portraits

The group reconvened at Union Mall where those who wanted to stay had dinner at the basement food court whereas the rest headed back to the hostel.

My first Pad Thai in Thailand! Slightly on the sweet side but it was very tasty and worth its price.

I can't remember if it was 65 or 75 baht but it's just cheap.

Decided to try the Thai desserts despite the buzzing flies... 

Oh, flies? What flies? Hahah ignorance is bliss right! (let's just un-see the flies)

The girls went shopping for makeup at Watsons - apparently it's up to 50% cheaper - so I just chillaxed at the massage chairs area. Thank god for the massage chairs (or I would have to stand for a long time) and the free Korean music playing at the mall, or I would have been bored to tears.

After a looooong but fun day shopping, it was time to head back to the hostel and pack our shopping spoils hahah It proved to be a very challenging task, what with the 10kg baggage limit lol

Saying goodbye to my makeshift bed! The bed was killin' my back for the first 2 days (the mattress was so hard, you might break your bones if you try to bounce on it) so my friend swapped with me for the remaining 2 nights. Hallelujah! The third night's rest felt h.e.a.v.e.n.l.y. \o/ The bunk beds' mattresses were real thick and springy so my back could finally get a proper night's rest. Thankfully, the friend who made the swap is the kind of sleeper who falls asleep the instant she lays on the bed so she didn't have any difficulty falling asleep nor did she find the bed uncomfortable.

Rise and Shine! Last morning in Bangkok!

Cabbing to Chatuchak again the very next morning haha 

There's never ever 'enough to shop' :')

 Chanced upon this artist' shop where he was selling very unique accessories (all handmade by him!) I totally adore his ring collection which was both quirky and adorable at the same time. If only I were a more accessory-wearing person, I would have bought more rings >< alas, I'm not - I tend to lose the  few accessories I buy sobs - so I spent most of my time in the shop admiring, ooh-ing and ahh-ing at his wares and left with just one ring (which is damn friggin' cute).

Anyway, my agenda for that morning was to get a bag for my check-in baggage so I broke away from the group to go search for the bag. I initially thought someone would accompany me on the search (aka the one who was going to be sharing the bag with me) but nope, no one did. No surprise there. Just a bit of disappointment. Haha it's precisely at these times that I think to myself, "ah, this goes to show how different we all are.. it's clear that we're not even on the same wavelength, much less the same type of people." Apart from the initial let-down, hunting for the bag on my own wasn't a problem (the biggest problem was the wrong directions given by a shopkeeper that made me travel across the whole marketplace orz). In fact, it was much easier because I was able to move around more quickly - I sped through the various sections and it was fun seeing the many sections that I wouldn't have the chance to visit, if not for the bag hunt - and I could shop at my own pace and..

Eat at my own pace... :D 

The weather was so much hotter on the last day and I simply couldn't resist the cold desserts. I had a grape-flavoured ice pop (5 baht per stick!) and a coconut ice cream hehehe ^3^ After I bought the bag (took a bit of ingenuity to locate the bag shop), I just strolled back leisurely with my coconut ice cream in hand to look for the rest. Shiok life. 

Then, a couple of us went back to the hostel to get a bath! I couldn't bear the thought of boarding the plane when I'm all sticky and sweaty so yup, showering was a must! And then, we were off to the airport!

Basil Chicken Rice Nyam Nyam

Boarding time!

(quite a bit of pre-boarding drama, sigh)

Since budget flights don't feed us, I have to feed myself HAHA

 Packed my favourite mango sticky rice at the airport and savored it slowly on the plane for dinner :D

[end of Grad Trip, May 2015]

~ HOME SWEET HOME ~

Some thoughts post-trip..

• What makes a graduation trip a 'graduation trip'?
• If a group of graduating students go on a trip together, is that considered a graduation trip?
• If so, a graduation trip just turns out to be an ordinary trip with a fancy name?
• If not, what sets a graduation trip apart from any other trip? (I honestly thought it would have been a lil bit more special, more different)
• If it's just going to feel like any other shopping trip with friends, perhaps we should just call it that (and save ourselves the trouble from conflicts caused by the different expectations of the trip).

The voice that yabbers on and on

Just shut up and let me sleep.

不要踐踏他人的真心

When I was younger, I used to think that friends were insignificant because too many people were unreliable, insincere and destructive to the self. Friends who don't stay, friends who don't mean what they say and then there are the friends who step on you to get their own way - they sneak into our lives under the guise of friendship and shamelessly wreck everything thereafter. People, humans. Beings born with the innate ability to hurt others and knock down people and things in their path. Beings who can love as much as they destroy but where few can withstand the temptation to do the latter. (after all, it's so much easier than the former) Friends, acquaintances, strangers, enemies - sometimes, we can't even tell them apart.

These days, I find myself getting reminded of my thirteen year old self. Far too frequently for my liking. 

I have friends whom I love dearly but as for some of the rest.. I sometimes wish they had never stopped by in my life to start with; perhaps then, they would never have the chance to leave regrets and bitterness in another's life. Sure enough, life would be less colourful but I'm sure some people could deal with (even invite) less drama in their lives. Why does the thought suddenly ring (so) true now (actually it has always been true innit ahaha just that I had shelved it away in such a deep and far corner, it surprises me when I stumble upon it)? After hearing friends' stories on how they regularly ignore text messages and intentionally leave them unanswered for a certain period of time or forever (some of them occurring in a slightly different context which could justify the lack of replies), I started to think about my interactions with other friends. I've never entertained the thought that any of my friends would intentionally ignore (or in colloquial language, 'dao') my texts/messages - and I don't mean late replies due to legit reasons - because it's simply not a nice way to think about them, I would even say it's offensive to think of them as such. Additionally, since I have done absolutely nothing to them that would warrant or justify such a response, I'm like, "why would anyone do that (to anyone else)?" If someone asks you a question in person and you wish to avoid a conversation, you would at the very least respond instead of walking away right? Even when people I dislike text me to ask about things, I wouldn't put off a reply for days because it's the most basic form of respect for the other (and to me, respect is everything). I recognise that this is yet another case of unfulfilled expectations - darn these expectations but hey, whatever happened to "do unto others as you would have them do unto you"! - in any case, after careful observation wowzer, is it appalling to find out that I'm at the receiving end of two particular persons' intentional 'dao-ness'. It's kinda baffling, really. For instance, if one doesn't intend to reply after throwing out a "how are you" question then hellloooooo, please don't ask in the first place because 1) You aren't gonna reply; and 2) I didn't ask for you to ask, did I?! 3) You can't be chummy one day and ice cold the next. It makes me feel a bit like, you siao isit? Then again, I'm thankfully way past feeling hurt or anything (a precondition of invoking said emotion would require that I care for you) so it just came as a nasty and rude shock. We stand as equals in a conversation. It's not like I need you to survive (warning to self: it's dangerous whenever anyone finds that they can't live without another) so fine by me and it gon' be tit for tat. 

If this is what social interaction is like - inconsistent and potentially heartbreaking - I'm pretty sick of people then? 

A more interesting bit that I got from girls' talk though, was how being too quick to reply and always being 'out there' for friends could end up being counterproductive, with the friend becoming a person who was taken for granted far too easily by others. (which explains why she has since changed her strategy/tactic and holy moomoo cow, it worked!) Guess what? I actually agree with her. After listening to her story, I think I actually went through the same thing in junior college eeks. The walls were high enough and now, you guys wanna add on to them?! However, it makes me wonder.. Acting coy and playing hard to get - is that really the only or best way to maintain social relationships? It wouldn't hurt to try but.. (sigh) it doesn't come naturally to me and  it goes against one of my core values. The bright side is that it's a good form of self-protection though because the pulling-pushing game ensures that the parties involved always maintain a safe distance. And nowadays, safety first!

That said, it's not thaaat important a matter right now so let's just hibernate for now haha ^^ and stay away from these unpredictable beings.

Grad Trippin' BKK! [Day 2 and 3]

We started off the day at Pratunam Morning Market, shopped, met nasty shop owners, melted and then gathered back again for lunch at a famous noodle shop (which sits just behind/beside the main shopping street).

Address: อยู่หลังตึกใบหยก 1 ซอย เพชรบุรี 19 ถนนเพชรบุรี แขวงพญาไท เขตราชเทวี กรุงเทพมหานคร 10400

The shop's famous for its pink noodles but for some odd reason (mostly miscommunication with the waitress), I was the only one who was served a bowl of tom yum wanton pink noodles. How was it? It was... a very sour (and slightly smelly) bowl of noodles. The only reason why  I finished it was because I didn't want to waste the food/money but I'm pretty sure I'm not going to order that again on future trips. Why is it pink? Important question! (which I should have asked before I made my order) According to eatingthaifood.com, the pinkness "comes from the fermented soybean paste that’s added" to every bowl of noodles. Fermented... that explains the foul smell emanating from my noodles (pained expression)! A smell which the site described as "lightly sweet, almost flowery"... I don't know what to say lol.

Then we went to while some time away at a Thai massage place! My very first foot massage ever so I was nerrrrvous - I honestly expected it to hurt like shiat! (didn't help that I was the only one in the room of 10 or so ladies who got allocated a male masseur ._. my legs are shy! HAHA) Surprisingly, it didn't hurt much - I must be pretty healthy(!) bahahah - and I- okay, my feet felt really refreshed after the massage. They were ready and prepared for another 5 hours of walking :D 

OW. This hurts just from watching hahah

I accompanied Shiyin to the tailor whilst the other girls went to a cat cafe (I really adore cats/kittens but I wasn't too sure about the hygiene standards of the cafe so I gave it a pass) and after the tailor trip, we ended up relaxing at MBK Center (yet another old shopping haunt!). I had the best Thai food (of the trip) here - basil chicken rice! The wokhei flavour was 짱짱! The same stall (third/fourth stall from the left) also serves a fantabulous tom yum seafood soup with a gigantic freshwater prawn (115 baht, if my memory doesn't fail me). Anyway, can you believe that the enormous plate of mango sticky rice pictured above costs a mere S$4 - it had two huge mangoes, oh em gee - totally UN, UN, UN-BELIEVABLE. (sulks, now I'm craving mango sticky rice again)

Did the shopping that the mummy asked me to - Thai crackers!

After that, we went back to the hostel, showered and set off for ladies' night.

The only picture I have of DND hahahah 

It was sooooo bad, I didn't even bother taking more pictures of the place. Imagine being hassled constantly by the staff to buy more drinks (within 10 minutes of our entry) and when we didn't - we only bought one cup that was free-flow - the staff (I counted at least 6 of them wandering about the small enclosed space and wow, we attracted the attention of 2-3 of them!) followed us around the dance floor (which pretty much took up the entire club) and chased us away from tables! JOKE. At the very least, let us settle in first before we decide if we want more drinks or not! If you're constantly bouncing your customers around the club and right after our entrance at that, I doubt your customers will be in the mood to drink or even linger in the club -.- After two to three times of them shoving the drinks menu under our noses and shining a torchlight at it/us, we got sick of it and left. 

We headed for The Iron Fairies, a pub where "a night of magic, spells and fairy dust await(ed)"~* It was a much better experience (and hey, we got to experience walking about Sukhumvit, one of Bangkok's popular nightlife areas in the wee hours of the morning!) for the simple reason that.. any place with a decent live band can't be that bad heh. I really enjoy listening to live music so 'twas good. We stayed till.. 3 am(?) playing 'Truth or Truth' (whoever came up with that game...) before we dragged our weary bodies back to the hostel. This was the night the maddie record was set.

We woke super late the next day (laughs gaily). I woke up when my alarm rang but since everyone else were either still asleep or going back to sleep, I decided to go back to dreamland. And we all woke around 11am (12 noon, Singapore time) :P I appreciated the rest though, puts me in a better mood ^^

Check out the gorgeous skies *_________*

Tried looking for a Mookata place for lunch (I initially thought that Mookata was a restaurant brand but nopey, it means Thai Barbecue steamboat - think a grill surrounded by a narrow moat) but turns out that some blogger got the opening hours wrong so... trip wasted. We did go back for dinner that night but naww, Mookata ain't really my thing.

So we skipped over to Century the Movie Plaza for lunch and a brief respite from the scorching heat and it didn't disappoint! The basement food court (which seems to serve predominantly locals - and that's a sign that the food is decent/authentic) is worth checking out!

Dairy Queen - ice cream which is cheap like siao. 29 baht (~S$1.20) for this cup of Oreo Coffee Blitz, aka ice cream that doesn't fall out of the cup even when the cup's inverted. How do the Thais keep themselves from getting fat... I wonder.

Movie Theatre! I love checking out cinemas at all my travel destinations ^^ (it would be even better if I could have watched a movie teehee)

Saw my minions and just had to say hi to them :D

As the girls shopped, I explored the mall until I decided it was time to move on to the next destination HAHA and after a fair bit of drama (missing the mini van and dealing with unfriendly vendors), we found ourselves a friendly cabbie who agreed to drive us to Amphawa market and charge us by the meter at that(!!). I read online that some hotel cabbies quote a flat rate of 3000 baht for the 2-hour journey so I was very grateful that we managed to cab there for only 833 baht. Even more grateful that the cabbie wanted to send us back after our 'tour' for 850 baht. What a steal, seriously.

So we begun on our 2-hour journey to Amphawa Market, also known as the floating night market. The cabbie was surprised that we knew of the place because according to him, it's a night market frequently mostly by locals (maybe that's why the people there were much friendlier too...)! I would definitely recommend this place to others though (and go there again if I can). It's not too touristy, the vendors are pleasant, there's a reasonable variety of food, prices are negotiable and the scenery's lovely. Haha my description doesn't do the place justice but trust me, it was a memorable experience.

Arrived at our destination!

FLOAT, BOATS, FLOAT.

Mini Lego that were so cheepcheep, had to buy them for the sister!

Damn coolioz Spideyman who was just chillin' out in the middle.

Personalised key rings! 

Bought 2 for friends and kinda regretting not making/buying a few more haha

Really liked this pair but I didn't know whose names to put on them (my sister said I should have just written 'Maddie' on both.. so Maddie loves Maddie <3) so I just bought another pair for her and the future brother-in-law.

Then we left Amphawa for Bangkok, got back to the Mookata place around 11+ pm, had a Mookata dinner (no pictures because hungry maddie is a moody maddie and moody maddie isn't interested in taking pictures, just chowing down food) and yay, decided to retire for the night.

Grad Trippin' BKK! [Day 1]

Welcome to Bangkok (a place I used to call my second home)!

 Patiently waiting for the girls to return from their 7-11 shopping trip (they were apparently shopping up a storm because of matcha pocky sticks and ridiculously cheap Tao Kae Noi seaweed - heh a classic bkk shopping trip literally starts the very minute one lands)

Took the BTS to our hostel, "Link Corner Hostel Bangkok" which is not only very conveniently located next to Ratchaprarop station (2 min walk) but also near Pratunam Market/Platinum Mall (10 min walk). (no one had any idea of the nightmare that was awaiting them - okay, I kid but their experiences were none too pleasant, I must say. Then again, I wouldn't boycott the hostel in future or warn others of it because well, you get what you pay for!)

I have no picture of my bed because.. I had no bed then. Due to some miscommunication (or not, I'm not sure - I have half a mind to sue them for misrepresentation), we got a 6-bed dorm instead of the expected 8-bed dorm and I was the unfortunate one (read: pissed, annoyed, all mixed together) who was allocated the additional bed. Which the staff conveniently forgot about until 10 pm that night. I don't know how the Airbnb booking process was like for this particular hostel but judging from my prior experience with Booking.com, a company of 7 typically books and gets the entire 8-bed dorm (with or without extra charge for the unoccupied bed) - because booking options usually only list 4, 6 and 8-bed dorms. Hence, the allocation of a 6-bed dorm came as a shock to me (cheat my money, cheat my feelings) because I already knew the extra bed was gonna suck. In all my travels combined, I've never come across an additional bed (in hostels and hotels alike) which is better than the actual beds. Tip for future bookings - be sure what you're booking for!

Started off our first meal at Greyhound Cafe (at Siam Center), a supposedly mega popular cafe that requires up to 3 days' advance booking...

I have no idea..

(Fettuccini with Shrimp and Mushroom Cream Sauce pictured)

what the hype is about..

(Greyhound Famous Fried Chicken Wings pictured)

Greyhound Cafe's decor is real pretty - love the hanging plants, vegetables in vases and the whole nature concept - but the food's nothing to rave about. The pasta was good, very decent, the wings crispy and well done but it wasn't thaaaaat amazing (that said, it takes a lot to impress me when it comes to food so..) haha. Ah, the friends totally loved the ice blended Thai iced tea (it came with a really unique crumbly texture) so I would say that's worth a try!

 Moved on to Petite Audrey (still at Siam Center) which is famous for mille crêpes; or what danielfooddiary describes as "gorgeous thai tea (pictured on right below) and milo crêpe cakes (pictured on left below)". I was suffering from a bout of indigestion (from the night before) so I had to give these pretty desserts a miss.

 Look at all the attention these lovelies are getting!

Taking selfies haha ;)

 Entertaining myself at Forever 21 (I swear the security guard was super annoyed at us lol)

SIAM PARAGON! I MEET EU AGAIN AFTER WHAT- 6-7 YEARS?!

 Straight to another dessert place after.. dessert hahah 

This time, I just had to try it, indigestion or not - after all, it was my first ever Shibuya Toast and boy, I loved it! I really don't get how it can have such a buttery/oily exterior and yet, still remain soft and fluffy on the inside (it's magic!) Pair it with a generous dollop of ice cream and lots of maple syrup and you may get a taste of what heaven feels like, in your mouth at least aha ^^ This has to be among one of the best desserts I've ever tried in my life! (going back to try the Nutella Toast the next trip!)

Then the shopping started proper (at Platinum Mall)...

This necklace is just craycrayy. It's gonna hurt the wearer so much (though at least its avant-garde design will get its wearer fashion plus points)

30 baht for a pregnancy kit... perhaps not the best place to check if a baby's indeed on its way.. ahahaha

Dinner at some random stall by the road - soggiest Thai Chicken Fried Rice I've ever had! Maybe they thought I ordered fried rice in broth... lol.

The bottle of Chang Beer that Deb downed in half an hour (salute!)

My bed, finally set up! Chose an early night (didn't work out) over clubbing at the-very-atas-Ku De Ta with the rest of the girls - though in hindsight, I should have joined them and skipped the horrible Do Not Disturb (DND) club the next night instead.

[end of Day 1]