I can't focus.

Lacking a reassuring presence in my life, I realise.

Where calmness once resided, there's now imbalance.

Feelings running wild all over, just stop the time.

That is one soaked tissue.

Dilemma: To skip or not to skip.

I wish I slept earlier. Doh.

I was supposed to sleep at midnight but here I am, still awake at such an unearthly hour. The worst part? I've made little progress with the research paper.. I haven't been able to work on it over the past two days because I spent the time meeting up with a friend from Singapore and so, I was supposed to work on it a whole lot more today. But the words just ain't coming! Even when they do, I end up questioning their relevance (half the time, I'm just like, "what in the world am I writing?"). It's frustrating and making me angry at the same time. I only have 4 more days left till the presentation but I have a picnic and concert scheduled on Saturday and a outfield trip on Sunday. What have I gotten myself into????? I can't request to change the picnic date because it's a class thing.. and yet, it wouldn't be polite to be a no-show on that day. Will I be able to finish my paper, slides and script by Monday? Sigh. I gotta be the only student, in the entire history of SMU exchange students, who is feeling stressed out by work and exams. I need to learn to take it easyyyyyy.

To make things worse, my exam next saturday clashes with MY concert of the year (and yes, I paid a fortune for the ticket). If you thought the 6-hour mid-term exam was horrifying, imagine my reaction upon learning that the final exam is going to be a freaking 12-hour long thing. I was just speechless. I could only laugh awkwardly at the professor and space out. Apart from the insane duration of the exam (same conditions apply), I'm in a dilemma as to whether I should still go/can go for the concert. I definitely can't finish the 12-hour paper in half the time (if I go for the concert, I have to be done in 7 hours) but should I just "Yolo" it and go for the concert? The rational side of me disagrees and prioritizes the exam but the other 'me' resists the idea of skipping the concert. It's one of the highlights of the trip!

Life and its choices.
Life and its 12-hour exams. (SIAO)
Life and its frustrating research papers.

Give me a break, will ya?

Rainy Day

It's raining really heavily right now - been pretty much raining the entire day - and here I am, sitting at my desk, trying to achieve the impossible (aka finish my work). On a happier note, I'm almost at the 3000-word mark for my research paper so that leaves me with about 1000 more words to go! It's really tedious work trying to analyse a movie in that many words (haha) but I still have a week so cheer me on! I can do it! *\o/*

Sunday was supposed to be my day off; it was D-Day to venture out of Seoul, explore new places, see new sights and create new memories.. but I changed my mind this morning after checking the weather forecast. The last thing I need right now is to huddle miserably under my tiny umbrella, braving the cold rain and strong winds, only to get drenched pathetically. So I cancelled my plans to visit Incheon (planned for weeks, sigh) and decided to stay in to, do what else but work! I went out for lunch and dinner so at least I got fresh air and some exercise but the rest of the time was either spent on work or a power nap. I didn't get to explore new places as I intended to but surprisingly, it was a fair enough day. Passable, if not mildly enjoyable. (: No stress by the rain, no stress from people, no stress from work (I lie - workload is overwhelming) - just me and my nice, comfortable room. For once, the room was actually cold (yippie!) because it was raining and I opened the balcony doors to let the wind in. We're not going to get the same cool air everyday (would I trade natural air conditioning for rain.. hmmm, maybe not?) so I really hope the Housing Office switches on the air conditioner soon.. before we all suffocate from the heat. It was so warm under the covers last night because there was hardly any air circulation in the room and I took a long time to fall asleep. *frowns in displeasure* We're paying so much for the room so at the very least, give me some ventilation!!! Staying at the basement means we rarely get natural ventilation (the wind) since the building blocks the airflow! And even if we do get natural air conditioning, we get free guests (the very unwelcome mozzies) too - why should slapping mosquitoes be our night past-time?! NUUUUUUUUUU *flips table* ahahahaha

Reflections

Sometimes, we wish we were stronger.


On a happier note, we've been reunited with each other!

Today

我们自由吗？

刚看完了《我的自由年代》25和26集... 心情有些低落。毕竟，这部戏剧已经追看了好几个月- 虽然中途有好一段时间忘了观看（可能是忙着处理去外国交流的琐事），不过我也在好几个星期前成功地赶上剧情进度，怎料今天看的这一集竟然是最终回和...

我是看26集，看到一半的时候，才惊觉荧幕的左上边写着“最终和”这三个字。起初还有点半信半疑的我不信也不愿相信，因为网站明明写说一共有35集啊！怎么突然少了9集呢？要真的是剧终的话，那我不就少了一个（很重要的）戏剧观看和陪伴我吗？（哭）结果，果然是最后一集！我觉得剧情其实还有许多发展空间，所以不明白编剧们怎么会选择以这样的结局，草草地为故事画上句点。太令人失望了！（再哭） 李国毅和任蓉萱爱情故事的结局也没交代清楚- 流川对着嘉恩的信傻笑？无奈地笑？喜悦地笑？到底是什么意思吗！而且人家还傻傻地在等郑仁维向嘉嗯告白耶...

《我的自由年代》这部剧虽然剧情有时很无聊，甚至稍微脑残（有些情景超笨特笨到我不敢相信），不过它很有意义。

（今天想睡了，明天再继续写这篇文章！）

PS. 话说回来，很久没以华文上载文章了！坦白说，跟以前比起来，现在写得有点吃力 - 看来，得多练习，多写些华文篇章了！

I need a cleaning robot.

I haven't been back in dormitory in close to a week and the place is turning into Filthsville. I was really tired for the past few days and hence, could not bring myself to do the cleaning up but today, I could stand it (a few days from wading around in hair and dust piles) no longer. So now, I have a nice, sparkling floor and clean room. :D I'm not sure if my roommate doesn't know where the broom is/where the cleaning swipes are, thinks she needs my permission to use the broom (...) or if she just cannot be bothered, but my mum would surely freak out at how dirty the room has become in the past week. Oh, and did I mention, she was astonished by the state of the sink (read: dirty and crummy sink - I believe I mentioned it before) hahaha I would clean it up.. but not until I get plastic gloves.

(I don't even know if she notices that the room has been cleaned every time..)

I do have to clarify that apart from this, I'm totally fine with my roommate. She's nice, really friendly, helpful and I like her and all.. but I'm just really conscious and picky about cleanliness.

Doing work now (or trying to do work) but simply feeling like throwing the readings awayyyyy.

JEJU-DO :D

The family was here in Korea last week and I gotta say, it has been the best week ever since March. Travelling with family is still 짱짱 the best! \(^~^)b We went around Seoul for a couple of days and then, we were whisked off to the beautiful island called Jeju Island. It was simply stunning, amazing, wonderful, splendid, marvelous, awesome, great, mesmerising, magnificent, lovely, delightful and to sum it up all in one word, daebak (대박)!! I still haven't sorted out all the photos yet - some pictures are also not with me currently, but in three other phones - so it will take a couple of days (hopefully haha) before I document my Jeju trip on the blog. All I can say is, if you're a nature-lover, you cannot give Jeju Island a miss. Till then, enjoy these! :D

Mindless, Thoughtless, Senseless

I saw this link yesterday and decided to check it out because of the flabbergasted responses it was garnering on Facebook. You might have seen it floating around on Facebook lately - it's a satirical post on Aware and menstruation leave. I'm not even sure how this issue even came about (anyone read it in the papers recently?) but I'm downright disgusted by the comments left by netizens. Sure enough, the article was plenty much exaggerated and dramatic (the "scrunched up on our beds like a shrimp" analogy was creative and cute though) - which explains why it's getting such a heated response (from foolish people who probably couldn't see through the satire) - but I fail to see why people are responding so rudely with insensitive and disrespectful comments. At the milder end of the spectrum, some people feel that it is "pathetic" for women to request for such leave whereas others feel that it's a childish move and a 'girl-and-not-a-woman' thing - that one should grow up and deal with it like a working adult. (uhh, age doesn't make a difference when it comes to the extent of discomfort) A number of female commentators seemed to echo similar views in that they felt it was a totally unnecessary move. At the other end of the spectrum, we have people saying that it's ridiculous how women are demanding for an extra day of medical leave (yes, I think it is on a medical basis) and yet also want equal pay (essentially saying that women are always arguing about inequality in the workforce but here they are, seeking unequal employment terms) or that it's blatant inequality/preferential treatment (since NS Men do not get the equivalent leave). And then, there are the outright demeaning and repulsive (and highly irresponsible) views that if women can't deal with it, they should just go remove their womb, start taking birth control, stop their menstruation forever (I suppose he doesn't have kids - does he even deserve one?), get pregnant or marry a rich guy and not have to work. There are so many more disgusting comments - I can't bring myself to scroll down anymore - but you get the picture.

I'm definitely not saying that employers should offer menstruation leave across the board or that it's a woman's entitlement. I certainly do not understand it to be an entitlement (especially since acknowledging it will "put women to shame" lol); instead, it could be perceived to be a thoughtful gesture on the part of the company or a well-meaning opt-in provision in labour law (should it be statutorily provided for, whch is highly unlikely anyway). As for the people talking about how women have lived and worked for thousands of years without complaining or about women who gave birth in the morning and returned to work right after in the same day (sure boh, you want to kill the woman ah) - knock, knock, can you kindly please wake up? Firstly, the state of past affairs do not necessarily justify the maintenance and continuation of that particular state of affairs. Just because such a concept didn't exist in the past does not mean it cannot exist now. Likewise, just because females had limited rights in the past gazillion years doesn't translate into the fact that such a situation should continue. The human mind can develop and progress. We are not a stagnant society (perhaps you are?). And who are you to judge whether the innumerous female generations in the past had made a fuss or not? Perhaps those in the working population were not the ones suffering from such a problem! Moreover, the existence of superwomen mommas who can give birth and go back to work immediately means nothing in this debate (in any case, we all know that some people have easy births and recover more quickly than the rest, so the comparison is invalid).

The discussion would have been much more acceptable if people had chosen to debate the practicality/usefulness/feasibility of such an employment measure instead but no, they just had to go about mocking the women (who do have a need for such a medical leave) as pathetic, immature, stupid, attention-seeking and make light of a serious health issue. They probably don't even know (much less see) how bad menstrual cramps can get. Curling up like a shrimp is not a mere figurative expression - it happens in real life. To describe it as a debilitating (albeit temporary for a few days) condition would not be an exaggeration. Females with bad cramps may be in no condition to walk, they break out in cold sweat, some of them end up puking, some go white in the face and most just have no energy to do anything, save for resting limply on the sofa or bed. Sure enough, the smartass critics will retort, "go see a doctor or take medication!" All I can say is, the doctor is no miracle healer and neither is medication an almighty cure. Painkillers can lessen the pain but it doesn't recharge a weak person with energy (to work, study or whatever not). It is not a battery. It only relieves pain. In addition, as one commentator pointed out, she's allergic to painkillers so she's basically totally out of it for that day/few days. To be very honest, if the derogatory comments only originated from males, I may still be able to understand that they have no experience/knowledge of the condition and excuse them for their loathsome and thoughtless conduct. However, to hear the very same from females just pisses me off to no end. Especially if these are people who have never been at the receiving end of such cramps before - I'm not privy to this information of course, but if it's true that they do not truly understand the extent of pain we're dealing with in this debate, then they should just go ___(beep)___ (insert your choice of words here).

Note: In case you think I have vested interests in this issue - no, you're wrong - but I simply think it's wrong to make fun of the condition while humiliating women (as being weak) for seeing a need for some measure to be put in place (be it an additional day off (outside of the specified legal duration), a work-at-home day or just compassionate leave). Recognising that certain groups of women may require special treatment (not even that special if you think about it - many international firms allow their employees to work from home) does not tilt the scales of equality at all, nor does it make the female gender any weaker. It's basically the same as allowing medical leave for someone down with flu (which is usually less severe than cramps, so why not direct attacks at 'cough/cold/flu' instead and suggest that people remove their lungs/throat/nose). If one can accept medical leave for illnesses like these, I fail to see why they are unable to extend that same generosity/understanding to cramps - just ditch the unattractive label, "menstruation leave". People are probably uncomfortable with the idea of implementing this across the board as a compulsory initiative but hello (你好，有人在家吗?), there were alternatives like working from home (see the word, 'work'? there's still work going on - no one's skiving off). Rather than make fun of women, why not invest the time and effort (and snack on the mean words themselves) into brainstorming possible solutions for working women facing such a problem. If the best they can come up with is the removal of the womb, they don't need children, I suppose. Start by thinking about where in this huge world (of pathetic fools and weak women) they came from in the first place.

That's enough said, I guess.

I rest my case.

HOHOHO :D

Credit: Picture of a very happy dog from funstoc.com

A.R.T.

I was walking back to Sinchon yesterday when I came across a group of people huddled in a circle around two guys tinkering with spray paint. (the fun part about Sinchon is that you'll never know what delightful surprises to expect every weekend) There were these amazing artworks displayed around them and by the looks of it (they had a table-plastic-shield contraption), they were about to perform and recreate those artworks on the spot! I wanted to stay and watch the performance so badly but unfortunately, I was already running late for a dinner appointment so I had to give it a miss. But not before taking a few snaps of the fantastic artworks and more importantly, their introduction board.

I'm glad I did.

These are the people behind the street performance and if I've piqued your interest enough, you can watch their performance here (start from 3:30 till 8:30). You won't regret it.

There are so many crazily talented people out there in the world who are just doing their own thing (and excelling at it) - that it makes me wonder.. Will I ever be able to join the ranks of these inspiring artists? To do what I love and to do it remarkably as well?

On a side-note, some artists who have caught my attention this week:
Chalk Art - this is new to  me but I'm not sure how legit it is, considering the source of it, but regardless of its medium, still mind-blowing!
Shadow Art - Takes a great deal of planning and creative imagination and although I've always been fascinated by the end products, this art form has never really appealed to me.

I've been procrastinating like crazy since this morning - I totally don't feel like doing any work and the current reading is so ridiculously boring (I think). But let's see how it goes. I'll go get a snack from the kitchen and decide what to do after that. Gahhhh. Boring. Lonely. Don't wanna do work. Need a longer weekend. Gimme a break. More breaks. Long weekend again please.#ranting #monologue HAHA

Do I?

I miss you.

Jeonju Day Trip (20.04.2014)

I don't have the energy to blog about the Jeonju day trip (much less the Daegu/Gyeongju one) right now so.. make do with pictures please!

Company for the day (:

 3 hours bus ride.. much of which was spent in dreamland (I woke at 5.30 am)

Jeonju Hanok Village - what the locals call the only tourist attraction in Jeonju (psst, it was quite boring and the entire place felt so commercialized)

**DA FAMOUS JEONJU BIBIMBAP**

Beansprout Rice in Soup (hangover soup)

  Popular Black Sesame Patbingsu (trainee pastor's treat!)

 Jeonju Gyeonggijeon

(Built to preserve the portrait of King Taejo)

Our marvelous guides for the day: Trainee pastor (extreme left) and friend (extreme right)

He bought the admission tickets (to the place above) for us and when I tried to pass him the money, his reply astounded me. He gently declined my money and remarked that it was his treat - it was an act that in his words, mirrored "the depth of (God's) love". The amazing thing is that before this trip, he didn't even know any of us and yet, he could find in himself, the capacity and ability to welcome us with all his heart and treat us like we've known each other for years. He's from the same church (but different branch in Korea) as the girl in blue and having heard from fellow church members that she was visiting Jeonju and was interested in Easter church service, he just drove down to the Hanok village to meet us and bring us around (even if there was no service that day). It's surprising frankly, to see how friendly and genuine these people are, even to strangers. Religion certainly unites (people's hearts) but to extend this warmness unreservedly to even her friends - that takes a great deal of character. Though the time spent together was short, they've earned my admiration and.. I guess it's through encounters like these which make us want to become better people ourselves.. To be willing to give without expecting anything in return, to share one's joy with others and perhaps, colour the world with a few more happy smiles.

 Guard on the left was dozing off while (not) standing at attention..

 Fan museum that I didn't get to visit because no one seemed interested >< 

Jeonju's known for its production of traditional paper (eg. used in fans).

 On our way to Omokdae, we came across this mural painting residential area! Prettayyyyy!

 The picture on the right used to be one of our "guide's" grandfather's house

Trainee Pastor kindly invited us for tea at his church - what a lovely coincidence to get the Winnie Pooh mug ^^

Us with the lovely Church girls (:

 Trainee pastor and his fellow church members brought us to their Jeonju Metropolitan Museum of Art, despite their busy schedules.. I felt incredibly amazed and yet, humbled by their unassuming friendliness and warm hospitality.

 Visit to Makgeolli village where I had my first sip of Makgeolli!

Back to Seoul - a long, tiring 3.5 hours ride back. (snoozes)

Selfies! XD

 Dressed up for once (难得穿裙子) so selfies were a must! :D

I think this was the first time in 2 months that I... wore a dress. Ahahahahahha

Me and my Do Manager <3

Breakfast Woes

I mentioned in a previous post that the meal I enjoy most everyday is breakfast. I still do - breakfast remains the most comforting time of the day to me - but this week, I find myself making an effort to wake up early just for breakfast and that reduces the joy factor significantly. I could have slept in longer this morning but I rolled myself off the bed. Why..? Just so that the loaf of bread I bought the day before will not go to waste. A single loaf consists of 10 slices of bread but it expires within 3 days. Apart from the fact that it's not really possible to eat 3.3 slices of bread for 3 consecutive days (plus I don't always have the time to sit down and make 3 Nutella /peanut butter sandwiches), if I happen to even skip breakfast for a day, that would immediately result in wastage of 3 slices of bread. So no, I can't waste food like this. T^T Why is breakfast turning into a chore whenever I buy a loaf of bread... Orz

Tomorrow, I'll have to wake up early (say, 9am?) to do my laundry (pesky chore gah) and have an early breakfast.. because in order to not waste my ingredients, I have to cook lunch. In other words, I need to have both breakfast and lunch. Since lunch time should be before 3pm and it takes about 45 minutes for preparation and cooking, I'll have to start by 1pm. And in order for my tummy to be ready for lunch, breakfast cannot end any later than 10.30 am. So that leaves me with a really early breakfast - early because Friday is my free day. If not, it would be awful indeed if I had to stuff myself with food just so to reduce wastage. Then again, it's tedious (mentally) to have an early breakfast because my roomie usually sleeps till late, hence I have to be so very careful and conscious of the plastic packaging's loud rustling noises. Let me tell you from weeks of personal experience - having to minimize the sounds and make breakfast in silence (whilst checking every few minutes on the sleeping roomie - every toss and turn unsettles me) is a h.o.r.r.i.b.l.e thing. The same applies to using the toilet in the morning, brushing my teeth (interesting observation: the sound of the running tap is 100,000,000 times more effective than her 10 alarms - did I mention, I HATE her alarms), washing my hands, taking a shower and even eating my breakfast (am I chewing too loudly? or just nice?) - if not, I'm practically tip-toeing around the tiny room and trying not to make any noise. To do this first thing in the morning when one wakes up? On an almost daily basis? 살려 주세요.

Meanwhile, can anyone come and help eat my bread and broccoli (and perhaps eat with me)? *puppy dog eyes*

Speaking of cooking ingredients, I find it quite amusing how I always start off worrying, "how in the world am I going to finish like, 15 florets of broccoli?" only to end up with a reasonably-sized portion of food. This is because by some stroke of luck or owing to the work of some external force (let-your-food-soar force?), some of my ingredients always end up flying (off the table, onto the floor), leaving me with just the right amount of food. For instance, once I was thinking to myself, "how am I going to finish this part of the carrot by today?" and wheeee, 1/4 of the carrot conveniently rocketed off the chopping board whilst I was cutting it up. Another time, I was wondering about how to finish the capsicum when my hand slipped and poing, quite a few slices decided to go bungee jumping (down the sink). It happens every now and then - my groceries escaping, much to my delight - it's almost as if they knew that too much of them would overwhelm me. :P

Anyway, gotta go back to my work.

On an unrelated note, I've been buying so many pens and markers recently D: hahaha I now have 2 black pens, 4 coloured markers and 4 highlighters (not including the stationery I brought from Singapore)! They're wonderful for drawing purposes - I did some drawing practice today (see below) - and boy, I think I'm gonna buy the entire set of 10 colours before I go back to Singapore heh :D Fun FUn FUN!

Check out the funny looking monk in the second picture (top left) ahahha XD

I need to practice more! Skills got a bit rusty ever since uni started..