The fear eats away at me.

I don't want to make him upset,

but neither do I wish to upset her.

Yet, who even cares that -

I'm the most upset one around here.

More reason to love chocolates?

This is exciting news!

"Bioactive ingredients found in cocoa sharply reversed age-related memory decline in a group of volunteers, scientists reported on Sunday...

The scientists carried out brain imaging, measuring blood volume in a key part of the hippocampus called the dentate gyrus, a region of memory formation whose performance typically declines as one ages.

"If a participant had the memory of a typical 60-year old at the beginning of the study, after three months, that person on average had the memory of a typical 30- or 40-year-old," said Scott Small, a professor of neurology at Columbia University Medical Center in New York.

Flavonols have excited great interest. They dangle the possibility of tackling age-related memory loss in the world's fast-growing population of elderly but without using drugs.

The compounds exist in grapes, blueberries and other fruit as well as in some vegetables and teas, but the type of flavanol and the amount vary widely.

Sadly... Small also said that it would be a mistake to consume more chocolate.

Then again, great fact (assuming it has attained the status of a fact) to take note of - let's keep ourselves and our loved ones healthy! :D

The weekend (that hasn't started and yet has ended)

This pretty much sums up how I spent my weekend.

Friday was just.. nasty - got completely knocked out for half a day because my head and eyes were hurting so effin' much. I knew something was off the minute I woke that morning because my eyes got so sensitive to the light streaming in through the window but the discomfort just got worse.

Saturday and Sunday are slight improvements but I'm still feeling quite lethargic. The swell's gone (yay) but yeah, still drained of energy.

(flops onto bed)

Is the week over already?

The less important bits of everyday life

"TAKE THIS!"

During class last week, I suggested that we discuss our group presentation on Googledocs over the weekend so that we would have made enough progress by our first meeting (today) to get things done efficiently and effectively. The Googledoc was created, instructions given by another group member and more importantly, a deadline was set (the irony). We were supposed to insert our research findings in the document any time from Friday to Wednesday but the last I checked, hey! it's Thursday today and there's. absolutely. nothing in the document apart from my materials. It's fine if you think the module's unimportant but at least respect the deadline and respect your fellow group members. Or if you're not planning to adhere to the deadline, let the rest know! We said we would get work done - now, where's the work? Does this mean that we have to spend an additional hour or two discussing what we could have easily done online over the weekend? Why do I have to waste my precious time on that? I don't wish to sound petty but (1) I hate long and inefficient meetings (2) wahlau, people got more important things to do okay.

This isn't a big deal and I'm not unbelievably annoyed or anything but.. it's irritating. PIKA-PIKA-CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

In other news, I'm going to meet a Thai friend tonight for dinner-supper-I-don't-know-what. SAWADEEKA~ welcome to the land of smiles (:

When he asked to meet up a couple months back, the post-exchange me was like, "OH YEAH, sure! let's catch up and have some fun!" Fast forward two months. Now.... the very-post-exchange me is like, "ummmmm (twiddle thumbs nervously) I haven't seen him in over two years and I don't know/remember the other study trip people so.. what are we going to talk about? What am I going to talk about? What am I going to DOWILLITBEOHSOAWKWARDNOPLEASENOGURGLEUR?!!" (dissolves into hysterical gibberish) Hahaha don't worry, it's just me and my social anxiety.

(Alright, it's time for some work.)

Let it be a good dinner and catching up session!

Updates
[7.30 p.m.] Alighted from bus at bus stop before Tomlinson Road, thinking, "Where in the world is this?!" Starts peering at GoogleMaps
[7.32 p.m.] Recognised the place! This is the route my bus takes on the way home! But..... to walk from here, seriously? I recall Tanglin Mall being much farther down the road.. (starts walking anyway) "Let's walk more quickly if it's really that far."
[7.43 p.m.] Stops walking and starts mapping out the area in my mind. This can't be the right route! It'll probably take me 20 minutes or more to walk all the way there.. which can't be the case since GoogleMaps described it as a 600m walk! (decides to retrace my steps to the bus stop and in the meantime, realises that the area's awfully dark and that there's hardly anyone around)
[7.47 p.m.] Speed walks all the way back to the brightly lit intersection. On the way back, I got a fright from my own shadows and was very startled when I stepped on some twigs and dry leaves (honestly thought I stepped on some nocturnal creature). "Let's just follow the directions on my phone and cross the road!"
[7.52 p.m.] Is this the hotel...? Four Seaso- urgh no! (tired and sweaty by now) Just keep walkin'! But why is it so warm and humid tonight?? (continues glancing around at my surroundings to make sure no one's following me)
[7.58 p.m.] (stays far away from the dark buildings and bushes - that was how scared I was Orz) It has gotta be here.. here.. IT'S HERE! Couldn't have been happier to see the words, St. Regis.
[8.00 p.m.] Greeted the doorman a good evening and ignoring the stares from the hotel lobby staff, collapsed into the biggest armchair I saw. "I reached on time!" (we had arranged to meet at 8 p.m.)

...

[8.10 p.m.] Checks phone and realises SAWADEEKAP is still at the airport! (decides to rest, stares at statue and ripples across the water surface)
[8.20 p.m.] Flight landed a long time ago but the baggage belt isn't sending out the passengers' luggages! (ooh, there's a wedding going on upstairs! enjoys music whilst waiting... observes wedding guests.. Where are they going midway through the wedding with a glass of wine??!)
[8.30 p.m.] No one in sight so.. let's take a walk to the washroom.
[8.36 p.m.] The lighting's good! Shall we take a selca? (nayy, let's delete it) Time to go back out to the lobby and my armchair~~
[8.40 p.m.] I'm bored. (goes back to people watching and statue staring)
[8.45 p.m.] I'm bored. (yet I refused to use my laptop after staring at it for the whole day already - silly me)
[8.50 p.m.] I'm bored. (oooh, that guy's enormous. At least 1.9m?)
[9.05 p.m.] I'm bored. (decides to sleep but fails)
[9.15 p.m.] Time to sleep? (did I already have dinner?)

[9.20 p.m.] SAWADEEKAAAAAA! THE DIVA SAUNTERS IN LIKE A DIVA. (too hilarious)

[9.30 p.m.] Visits his suite. Completely wowed. (checked the room rate for his room today and realised that it's an exorbitant $1350/night o.m.g.) There goes my plans for a St. Regis staycation.
[9.40 p.m.] Yay it's time for dinner! Drives to Ippudo and had a wonderful dinner (because of the company and not the average-tasting ramen).
[10.55 p.m.] It's time to say goodbye! (sobs)

Overall, I had a fantastic time with them yesterday (: I'm really thankful that we're still friends after 2+ years and even happier that I turned up for dinner yesterday. Without them, I wouldn't have such a great Thursday night or the chance to walk through scarily dark streets and explore the luxurious St. Regis Hotel! ^^

Great things await outside of our comfort zones.

Tuesday Afternoon

Expectation

4PM: EAL Project

6PM: Equity Readings

8PM: Ethics Presentation

10PM: PPCL Assignment

- I CAN DO IT RAWRS -

Reality

4PM: Eat handmade yoghurt (thanks jie! yummy!)

4.30PM: Watch Running Man

6PM: Sleep (as instructed by mum)

8.30PM: Dinner

10PM: (looks at to-do list and laughs hysterically)

- SUCH IS A PANDA'S LIFE -

Me

I looked into the mirror this morning and this is what I saw.

Bad dreams, Go away!

Yesterday's dream was a totally horrible one again.

I was literally shaking with rage right before I woke - with tears of anger and exasperation running down my face (now, that's a first) - and apparently, I was also talking in my sleep.

Thinking about it, I don't even get why I dreamt of something like that. It's absurd and absolutely makes no sense. If dreams do indeed reflect our subconscious thoughts, I'm not too sure what my dream was trying to tell me. There was quite a bit of slapping, shouting, crying and water splashing (three cups-worth, with me doing the splashing) going on (what a mess!) but what stood out the most was the feelings of betrayal and anger. The dream-me got so, insanely angry. I guess the dream eventually maxed out its capacity to keep the dreamy emotions within dreamyverse so they inevitably spilled over into reality. However, apart from waking me up abruptly this morning and gifting me with a headache, I'm still unsure of the significance of the dream. To remind me to release all the pent up emotions? Or that I should let my self get really, really angry one day just to let it all out? And maybe even slap a person or two? (-_______-)\

I just want my rest.

I just wanna sleep.

GO AWAY NIGHTMARES.

Perhaps it's time to seriously consider getting a dreamcatcher.

Happiness can be bought after all!

$10 managed to buy me..

The family's favourite SunMoon salad - the vendor was really generous today, much to my pleasant surprise! I even got a complimentary banana!;

2 delicious Kaya puffs; and

1 cup of bubble tea!!

It was really quite tiring having to take the train, walk to International Plaza, take the train again, walk to the two shops, take the bus and walk home because my bags were heavy today.. but it was totally worth it. The salad helped cheer my sister up (I hope? ^3^), tonight's dinner atmosphere was delightful (to the extent that I overate - ah, the discomfort - but at least, I ate happily yay) and my mum got her bubble tea fix (although I have to admit I drank most of it hahahah)! (: It always feels good to do something for the people we love. (beams)

I hope everyone had a happy night today as well.

Goodnight, world! (for once, I'm not thinking of running away) Chu~!

The Great Escape

TGIF, not.

Things that went wrong today:

1. Dropped phone on concrete ground

2. That almost yanked my ears out because I was listening to music then

3. Laptop decided to play a joke on me. It's fine if the browser doesn't work for now but.. to not be able to print my research paper?!?! AFTSAJEHWUA?! You gotta be kidding me. I mean, of all days, today?!! (flops onto ground)

4. My backup plan - the thumbdrive was acting funny so the thumbdrive terminal at the library couldn't detect the USB (I even prepared for it but no way would I have imagined that I would need a backupbackup plan ._.)

So I ended up at the IITS office, trying to figure out what went wrong. Sigh.

I started the day with a splitting headache (no thanks to the late nights over the past week) and now, everything just hurts. I think I really need sleep. Uninterrupted sleep, no nightmares, no nothing. 

#CANTHENIGHTMARESJUSTGOAWAY #EQUITYGOAWAYTOO

I'm so not looking forward to the arrival of next week. Just check out the list of things to do over the next 2 days:

1. Equity Week 9 readings and Seminar Qns

2. PPCL readings (new night elective starting from next week)

3. Ethics Research paper (another RP?!)

    (I can't breathe or can I?)

4. EAL Written Assignment

    (whimpers)

5. EAL Group Project

6. Catch up on Equity Week 1-7 readings

7. Catch up on EAL readings and attempt practice questions

Woohoo. Sounds challenging! Sounds murderous!

Bleargh. Is this a dream?

Wake me up when it's vacation time.

My Obsession with Empress Ki

It has been a somewhat unhealthy obsession but I'm finally done with all 51 episodes. It has also been one 'ella of an emotional roller coaster ride but I don't regret watching it one bit. With its gripping plot and powerful performances by Ha Ji Won, Ji Chang Wook (this puppy dog can sure act) and Joo Jin Mo etc, this drama definitely lives up to its reputation (as 2013's Best Series Drama). It portrays a riveting account of the Mongolian empire and narrates a semi-fictional story about the lives of Toghon Temür (1320-1370) and his empress, Empress Ki. It's impressive how the drama explored the themes of loyalty, love, hate, injustice and patriotism and I could empathise with all the emotions the main characters felt. Perhaps, a little too much, for it messed me up for a while (consequence of investing too much feelings) and affected my daily routine. That aside, it got me really interested in the Mongol Empire and its Khagans (whom we know more familiarly as Khans) and when I have the time, I'll go read up more on the history of the Mongolians! How exciting!

All thanks to the drama, I love Ha Ji Won and Jin Yi Han now! :3

 Just because I like archery :P

And she's such a cool/strong/amazing/pretty/capable role model.

Sungnyang and Tal Tal!! 

What a dashing young man! *_*

My sister calls him the small-eyed guy but that's precisely what I love about him! I love his eyes and his intense-until-can-shoot-laser-beams-and-melt-womens-hearts gaze when he get all serious.

 Two words; 

Completely smitten.

Note to self: You can find Yi Han and Jaejoong's news here! Such a coincidence that they're best friends hehe! (fated to like him haha)

The Maze Runner

I finally watched 'The Maze Runner' today!

It's my first time watching a movie on my own - hahah despite my mum's protests all these while - but hey, it was fine, quite unsurprisingly. Initially, it felt strange not having anyone sitting next to me and I have to admit, the crowded theatre made me pretty self-conscious of the conspicuously empty seat next to me as well.. but once the lights in the theatres dimmed and the movie started, it didn't really bother me much. I just settled back into the less than comfy chair and enjoyed the movie!

The movie was a reasonable watch (kudos to the action scenes) and I enjoyed it quite a lot. The running scenes were well-executed and the pace of the movie appropriate. My only grouse is the ridiculously expensive $12 movie ticket.. The seats weren't even that comfortable (Lido has great seats in comparison, albeit too upright) and more importantly, I think they skipped the carpet-cleaning for the week (hopefully, not weeks). There was this stale carpety smell all around me (dismal sigh) and it was difficult to even breathe normally. This is at Bugis Shaw by the way!

I really wanted to watch this movie (which explains why I watched it alone because nobody else wanted to watch it and it's ending its run in the theatres soon) for 2 reasons:

1. I read the entire series (by James Dashner)
2. The lead's Dylan O'brien!

(aww yes, I do too)

He's leaner and meaner in the movie (I'm sure he's hiding a ripped body under those ragged shirts hoho) but I'd choose Stiles over Thomas any day! I don't think he got to display his full range of acting abilities in the movie (the emotions portrayed oscillated between desperation and sadness, which Dylan does brilliantly anyway) so I was a lil disappointed.. but it might get better in the subsequent movies! I honestly can't wait for more Dylan. (beams) When he isn't busy being the goofy, loyal sidekick in Teen Wolf, he's off saving the world in 'Maze Runner'. A manly and smokin' hot Dylan? ANY DAY. Hahaha :D

The movie does justice to the series (the work with grievers was so awesome - they were hideous and damn freakin' scary) and manages to bring most of the major characters to life but.. I just feel that depth is lacking in some of the main characters. In particular, Newt, Thomas and Minho (Alby and Gally were killed off so I shall exclude them). It could be the inexperienced actors or the lack of time (just 113 minutes!) but the filmmakers were not too successful in developing both the plot and the characters concurrently. They did a great job with the setting and background story but there were simply too many characters crammed into those 113 minutes, so something/someone inevitably had to make way (sadly, it was character development). Overall, it wasn't too bad though (: I'm looking forward to the next instalment already!

If I had to pick out some stuff I didn't like:

• The female lead when asleep, looked disturbingly like Kristen Stewart (of Twilight fame and whose acting I dislike) and she got so little screen time, she might as well not have been in the first film! I don't recall her role being that insignificant..
• I also don't recall Newt being a British boy (I have to revisit the book). It was so odd to hear Dylan speaking in his American accent and Newt replying in that posh English accent (doesn't help that it reminds me of Hermione every single time)! Newt also looks awfully young (I can't believe he's a 90-liner because he looks like a tall little boy) and that distracts me from his acting because I'm so not convinced that this is the Newt I know in the series. And then we have the Korean speaking with an American accent stronger than Dylan's and... the rest with I don't know what other accents haha

How is this a 24 year old? He looks 16! He looks like Jeremy Sumpter!

• I think Lee Ki Hong does a great job of looking like Minho but.. he should work more on his facial expressions. I can't tell when he's smirking or when he's genuinely upset because he has this smug, amused expression on most of the time. His friend just got banished into the Maze and he looks more confused/lost than distraught haha Then again, he's not a newbie actor so emoting shouldn't be the real problem - perhaps the script?
• Lastly, more dialogue (especially with the lead, Thomas) and less action with saliva-spitting, gooey and slimy Grievers please! 

ALL HAIL DYLAN! (melts into a puddle of pudding)

And because I can never get enough of Dylan... here's what he feels about the The Maze Runner series.

Queen of Procrastination

If I stop procrastinating, I'm pretty sure I can finish my work or at least, much of my work.

Then again, I want time for rest.

I can't decide if Wednesday is rest day for reading the papers, watching the television, listening to music, sleeping and just relaxing or if it's yet another mugging day.

I find myself feeling anxious most of the time (anxiety has been featuring way too much in life this year argh) and it doesn't feel good. Whilst the equity 'symptoms' have (very thankfully) gradually reduced in severity over the weeks (prolly also due to the hiatus in class participation efforts oops), the body still doesn't feel entirely well. It could be the haze - shouldn't rule that out - but it gets difficult sometimes. (gasps for air)

Ah, 25 minutes more to the baffling thing we call EAL. Then, 3 more hours till dinner and home!

I can't wait to go home and yet, 'home' also translates into a research paper which is impatiently awaiting my arrival. (zooms away like road runner) Just kidding, we fight, not take flight!

Till then!