What a week!

I'll save the happier stuff for the next post but what a week it has been!

Anyway, I started off winter vacation with grand plans (both work and social) but I don't see any castles and palaces being built so.. I doubt much will be achieved this winter. (laughs) I was supposed to work on the Taiwan itinerary, finish 6 weeks of readings for the social science module and make Christmas cards for everyone but naw, I'm just not in the mood to do so. I will have to work on the itinerary (shall we do it tomorrow?) and do some readings (I did one chapter and it was so tedious and boring. Like stale bread, maybe worse) but for now, I find myself satisfied with this relaxed and carefree lifestyle. Having nothing to do can actually be quite a delightful experience, much to my surprise. It may feel useless, like a waste of time (urgh, the conditioning of the local education system) but time that one enjoys wasting is not wasted time. As for the Christmas cards, that's a bit of a waste though - sigh - last Christmas, I was full of inspiration and came up with a set of digital Christmas cards but this year, the creative spark has been real elusive. Perhaps, I'm still fatigued from the previous semester - which I find completely believable considering how the past semester has been - and frankly, I'm not sure if I can "recover" in time for the upcoming semester. I mean, I find it difficult to even feel true excitement about my Taiwan trip and we're talking about a country I've been wishing to visit for years here!

The exhaustion extends to how (in)active my social scene has been as well. I have a couple of people I should/need to/have to meet but it's been tough trying to feel enthusiastic about these meetings. I was supposed to plan two group outings but I forgot (or somehow made myself forget) about them and.. I think I'm gonna shelve those plans for a while. Just a lil' while until my social batteries have been fully charged, alright? 

I've been thinking a lot these days (no thanks to the hermit lifestyle) but sometimes, I wish these thoughts could just leave for a bit.. and give me some peace. The constant narration in my head - aw man, I wish it had an "Off" switch! Oh and life would be even better if certain absurd, terrible people could just stay away and not scare others with their rotten, warped personalities. Hah, if only.

Anyway, Pottermore has been taking up quite a bit of my time so more Harry Potty joy to go around yay! It always feels good to go back to Harry Potty and Friends (:

I've also finished two books and a drama (this is the type of accomplishments I can boast about this winter HAHA). Hmm what did I read.. <Déjà Dead> by Kathy Reichs and <The Accused> by John Grisham! The former.. (sheepish laugh) I thought it was part of the <Virals> series by the same author (which is young adult fiction) because of the deceptively childish-looking cover and the familiar-sounding main character (who's actually the aunt of the protagonist in the young adult fiction series) but.. <Déjà Dead> turned out to be a crime novel!! Haha slightly too graphic (read: gory) and heavy for a starter reading! I'm not fond of her writing style in this book too - she went overboard with her use of literary devices (overkill, seriously), to the extent that it got slightly draggy and difficult to read, what with the crowd of metaphors and similes. Imagery is important but.. she was too generous. That said, I do have a few favourite (but kinda morbid) quotes though! ^^ I chuckled at these:

"He cleaned up after himself, so Roy wouldn't suspect, but when Gilbert and the boys gave the cellar a Luminol spray this morning it lit up like halftime at the Orange Bowl."

"Oh. And Gilbert has a chef's saw for you. Says it glows."

"Can you do this day after day, year after year, and not lose faith in the human species?"

"From time to time the human species spawns predators that feed on those around them. They're not the species. They're mutations of the species In my opinion these freaks have no right to suck oxygen from the atmosphere. But they're here, so I help cage them up and put them where they can't hurt others. I make life safer for the folks who get up, go to work each day, raise their kids or their tomatoes, or their tropical fish, and watch the ball game in the evening. They are the human species."

Theodore Boone's story was a much easier and lighthearted read! It's categorised as a legal thriller but since the target audience's young adults (it's really a book for teens), I flew through the chapters and it was an enjoyable read overall. It's interesting to read about a kid aspiring to be a lawyer/judge.

As for the drama I've recently completed, that was ah, so much deeper and darker. Once again, I got deceived by appearances (just like that insidious book cover aha) >.< The drama was showing on television and it's called "White Christmas" so.. Well, since it's Christmas season and all, I thought I was in for some sweet romantic comedy (didn't help that I saw one of my favourite actors playing the lead) HAHA Quite the contrary, I got sucked into (and was wholly unprepared for) a gripping, terrifying psychological thriller that explored themes like nature/nuture, fear/trust, isolation/community and moral retribution/punishment by the system. It's definitely not the typical Korean drama (what an insult that would be) - this should properly be described as a rare gem amidst the dime-a-dozen KPOP dramas. It's meaningful and deeply moving, and invokes a wide range of emotions in its audience whilst provoking them to do some reflecting and thinking of their own. 

I don't think my paragraph-long review does the drama much justice so if anyone happens to be interested in this excellently produced drama, you can check out the reviews at these sites: Drama Review 1 and Drama Review 2. I read them all after I finished the 8 episodes because I wanted perspectives. Do ignore their occasional fangirling/fanboying of the actors, especially Kim Woo Bin though haha (unavoidable for a drama with such a cast). It's also such a pity both reviewers disliked the lead actor (who happens to be my childhood crush) - I thought he did a brilliant job! (being defensive hahah) Heh it's been 11 years since I said I wanted to marry him (laughs heartily) but I realise that I still like him! I think he grew up to be a very fine man and actor, although my sister begs to differ. (whoops, digressed)

In my entire K-drama history thus far, only two dramas stand out for their thought-provoking storylines and remarkable emotional depth. There's "White Christmas" and then there's "The Devil". Haha that. was. insane. I can't remember when I watched it but I do recall that I almost flooded the house with my tears - I never ever wish to experience that desperate, helpless feeling again (shudders) - and that I got incredibly conflicted and upset over the moral dilemmas portrayed in the show. The scriptwriters had one job and boy, they did a terrific one.

Alright, enough of drama introduction haha ^^ It's getting late and I gotta go sleep soon! It's been therapeutic writing about joyful (or at least, non-upsetting) events (: and I'll continue with a post on the Christmas party and surprise event soon! 

Peace out, guys!

Hohoho~!  Three days till Christmas!

Winter Break: Second Week Part II

I have a ton to blog (there's a freakin' monologue in my mind that goes on 24/7.. like don't ya even need a break?!) but at the same time, I don't have the motivation to write so.. those pesky thoughts of mine can wait. This week has been spent quite meaningfully because I finally got out of the house and met with friends.. though I got to say my social networking battery for the week has been thoroughly depleted by now. So what did I do and who did I meet? There was the semi-awkward encounter with an old friend (it has been so long since we last met, I was amazed to discover that I couldn't even remember how he used to sound like), the high-spirited (and somewhat scandalous haha) catch-up with classmates, the movie session with a junior (and how his judgmental behavior pissed me off) and the terrific "exploration of Singapore" with the best friends on Friday. It has been a pretty fine week, I must say - although it has left me quite broke as well. I need to tighten those purse strings of mine or... any more meetups are gonna be difficult.

On a separate note, I was elated to receive news from ICON that I finally have an international buddy of my own! A Korean buddy no less! I was exhilarated because I missed the signups for buddies this semester sobs (whereas all my exchange friends had so much fun with their Korean buddies) so imagine how happy I was! Alas... expectations and reality aren't always a match.

The Korean buddies this semester were all so sweet, endearing, good-natured and passionate - thanks to my friends, I got to hang out with them a few times - and I got really used to their adorable ways (their text messages are always peppered with hearts and smiley emoticons!). Even though it's uncharacteristic of me, I always made sure that my replies to them were filled with hearts and cute expressions. But my buddy... (sigh)

I'll let the pictures tell the story.

(happyhappyhappy!)

Lol?!

 (moreover, she replied in such a curt, unenthusiastic manner, it made me question if she even wanted a buddy in the first place.. andddd although quite a few days have passed since then, she still hasn't replied my subsequent messages - I do know that she has read them already though - so that just leaves me hangin'... Whatever happened to lovable, playful Korean buddies?! I doubt it's a misuse of the acronym as well, considering that her command of English is reasonably good. I suspect that she's good both in English and Chinese!)

I'm not saying that all Korean girls have to be fluffy and cute (or that buddies must all be the ILOVEYOULEGGOHAVEFUN type- no way!) but it's really just a slightly disappointed me going..

Since I've been looking forward to getting a buddy so much.

We'll see how it goes, that is, if she decides to reply me haha.

Transition

New phone, new apps, new user interface.
No more chat histories (wahhhhh), no more photos (wahhhhhhhhhhhh), no more songs (faints).
Latest versions of social media apps (which seem so alien to me) and annoying ringtones.
Changing phones is akin to saying (forever) goodbye to the past 2 years of memories.
So foreign, so unfamiliar, so different.

Heartbreaking.

Winter Break: Second Week

It was a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day a couple of days back (no, I'm not promoting the movie haha) but thankfully, the week has passed uneventfully. I really need to get out of the house and go get some fresh air. Hort Park sounds very (hinthint) lovely. I read somewhere that we need at least 30 minutes of fresh air or exposure to nature everyday in order to not be under-happy - cubicle rats, please take note - so.. I basically need to go out and get in touch with nature.

Join me in my prayers.

Friends are sick, my baby niece is hospitalised (she's fortunately on the mend by now) and my mind's running wild. Nothing seems to be going right in this world in this very moment. The worst thing is the realisation that.. there's absolutely nothing I can do for them. This helplessness makes me feel so angry, so frustrated and so very useless. Why do all these innocent people (who have so much good in them) have to suffer such pain and agony? It pains me immensely to see my friends suffering and yet, there's really nothing I can do to make them feel better.
I can play with my niece, pat her gently and sing to her but I know that it isn't going to reduce the pain she feels (oh, how fearsome must those needles be like to a child). Likewise, I can send encouraging messages to my friends and all but at the end of the day, those are, but mere words. Words which once meant the world to a person at a certain point in time, can now be nothing more than a string of alphabets. And in the face of those invisible demons, they shrink to nothingness.

I am sorry, my friends.

Very much so.

I sincerely pray, that all will be well again.

A good night's sleep

Finally, the much-dreaded exams are over! I've also submitted the final assignment of the semester earlier this evening so this is.... officially the winter break! *\(^______^)/*

I didn't get my afternoon nap today (because of the mind-numbing assignment) so I'm going to have an early night for once! Alright, it's not exactly early but still earlier than my usual sleeping time heh I shall endeavor to sleep by 10.30 p.m. tomorrow (and set the Guinness (Maddie's) World record for the earliest sleeping time ever) and pay off those sleep debts! I generally don't sleep well during exam period - stuck in the light sleep stage - so I really do need to catch up on sleep. Alright, goodnight for now, people!

I shall leave everyone with a very soothing song (:

Tomorrow's tentative plan:

1) Eat my yummy homemade yoghurty

2) Design Christmas Cards

3) Catch up on manga! <3

4) Read a book or something!

HOW RELAXING.

THIS IS THE LIFE.

Full of germs and drugs

A Day of Rain

That was yesterday. 

(I think I can go audition for a melodrama already!)

I still haven't completely recovered from the sore throat (and then there were the mysterious insect bites or rashes last week) and.. the cold/flu just had to decide that it would be the perfect time to drop in for a visit, didn't it? This is seriously cray-cray man! A clean bill of health for the entire semester, until the last week of school at least, but now, I have to deal with headaches, stomachaches, mood swings, a sore throat and a sniffly runny nose. Sian ttm.

On the bright side, one more week stands between me and freedom. Just one more week. Let's hang in there and give it our best shot yeah. Happy times are not too far off in the distance!

(oh, and note to self: please don't forget to work on the assignment for the elective!)

Our Imperfections can be Beautiful too.

It's been one and a half weeks of feeling sick and tired.

Enough is enough, can't this cough just go away already? I'm tired of waking up every morning with a dry throat and coughing like an old lady (they seem to call it dry retching, aka. having nothing to puke so one ends up puking air). It's probably a throat infection (and right when I recovered from another nasty bacterial infection) so come on, immune system! You can do it! Wipe out those bad bacteria! Exterminate them! Let's be healthy again! (exasperated) Then again, I hear that stress weakens the immune system so this probably explains why I'm still not well yet. I tell myself not to be too stressed out but my body isn't listening to my commands, I guess.

Right now, I have a splitting headache. Too many thoughts running around (quite chaotically) in this little mind of mine, driving me crazy, driving me nuts. The present, the future, the past, all crammed into one single time frame, a fragile frame that is straining to contain them all, a frame that is threatening to split at the edges and fall to pieces. Having to worry about them, to worry about myself, to worry about others, to be a considerate friend, to be a sensible child, to be a responsible individual, to be a grateful person, to be a mature self. It's taking a toll on my mental well-being (nothing that I can't handle yet, thankfully) but is this what people call 'life' and 'growing up'? I still haven't quite come to terms with the implications of growing up - or why it's associated with so many losses of precious things - and I'm not sure if I ever even want to accept them, if it means giving up on a part of oneself and losing the power of hope. As always, I know that we are always stronger than we believe ourselves to be. We'll make it through these "difficult times", we'll survive but will we be happy? I keep playing down the severity of these issues (it's hard not to, with this pretty messed up world that we live in - I mean, there are people suffering because of famines, civil wars, archaic unjust laws, terrorists, poverty and then, there's us on this little sunny island) in the hope that I will gain strength and motivation from the fact that we're a billion times more fortunate than many others out there, but sometimes, I wonder if this really makes things better (and not worse).

Hah, which brings me back to the same ol' questions again.

Not too long ago, I realised that a friend of mine was facing similar issues (what with the constant self doubt, disappointment and trivialising of problems) and I guess what we really need to do is to be honest with ourselves and face those problems head-on. The fact that people out there are possibly suffering worse fates (what society terms 'real and serious problems') doesn't make our problems any less significant or hurtful. After all, it's all very subjective - acknowledging and understanding that there are more 'important problems' than ours doesn't help lessen the pain we feel or take our worries away. Our problems may pale in comparison to worldly issues - we may feel foolish, angry and annoyed with our frailty- but.. at the end of the day, the point is that nothing changes. The world's still imperfect, we're still imperfect and everyone's issues remain unresolved. To us, these are the real problems. (anyway, one has to first get past these personal hurdles before going on to establish world peace right and rule the world right!)

So to this dear friend of mine, please don't be angry at yourself for being weak. Don't be disappointed in yourself for not being able to overcome those problems for now. (Yes, for now. Things will change.) You need time and your problems deserve every bit of attention and effort you can afford to give them. Don't get distracted or sidetracked by others. Begin with self-acceptance. You are imperfect but you are strong, and you will find a way out. It may take weeks, months or even years but please hang in there, the light at the end of the tunnel.. is real. I know it is and you need to believe in that. Always, always keep the faith.

Ah well.. (it would certainly do me good to listen to my own advice eh)

(chortles)

Life and its complexities.

- -

I came across this picture this afternoon when transferring photos from my sister's phone and hey, I really like it. What's so exceptional..? I just like everything that is expressed in the picture. Haha I guess I now know the reason for those insane urges to visit the beach. (:

Goodnight, all.

Alamak!

Time for some sleep?

Happiest Day

This has been one of the happiest Saturday afternoons I've had this year.

(no, the elaborate romantic display is not intended for me)

Everyone was in high spirits and the place was filled with constant laughter and excited chatter - I don't think I've felt this relaxed and carefree in quite a while. For those five hours, work and school never once crossed my mind. It was just me, my family and overflowing happiness for all. Seeing the bright smiles on everyone's faces - my sister has got to be the happiest girl in the world today - brings me so much joy and merriness! (smiles)

Let's hold on tight to this precious memory, shall we all?

Please take care of yourselves!

I hope everyone recovers soon.

Where has the fighting spirit gone?

I'm not sure if I'm simply lazy, tired or unwell. (I can't tell anymore)

Strange thoughts come and go,

The worries just keep building up,

Will we see a flying lid soon?

Larks a-flying, shall we go catch them?

I'm supposed to be panicking and freaking out over all the outstanding tasks in my to-do list: dino's equity hypothetical question, the night elective's readings and drafting of applications, my economics paper, my readings for the week and judging by the rate at which this is going, possibly, everything and everyone else in the world but.. hey, I'm just chillin' right here. (laughs to self) I think my mind has just given up on work this weekend. Hah!

my very own family-friendly spongebob meme ^^)b

I just crashed from exhaustion on Thursday night, gave myself a break on Friday since it was a rainy day and Halloween (what a feeble excuse, I know), had classes half the day on Saturday and returned home late, which leaves me with one glorious Sunday to finish my work. I spent the day catching up on the economics module - which has been neglected for far too long - and now, I'm left with a maximum of three hours to complete the abovementioned tasks! Hahaha daebak, this just repeats week after week man!

I took a Halloween-themed picture this year although I didn't get to go out and partayyy! :D (will upload it tomorrow or something!)

感动，心动，这就是我的青春。

谢和弦，我高中时代的偶像。

那时侯的他是一位让我十分崇敬的音乐小天才(至今也还是），也是一位敢勇于追求梦想的孩子。他很清楚路 - 是要用自己的力量闯出来的 - 而梦想，必须是个动词。因为没有付出，自然地也就没有回报。若要一片属于自己的天空，就得靠自己的力量来争取的！

你带给我的力量，鼓励，勇气，坚持与希望，我一辈子都不会忘记!

谢谢你，没有你，我也不会有学吉他的勇气。（虽然不是弹得很好，不过我并没有忘记这个梦想哦！) 没有你，我也应该不会知道自己有多大的能耐去追求我的梦想。多亏你的无名网站，我才顺利地熬过高中吧...！通过你的歌曲，我也认识了感动，心动，勇往直前不退缩，的种种心情，慢慢地成长。

今天晚上听着你的歌，让我重温高中时期的那个我 - 好单纯，好有理想。

莫名的感动，莫名的悲伤。真是时间不留人呢... (叹)

今晚就说到这儿吧，希望大家有个快乐的万圣节！

晚安！^^

The fear eats away at me.

I don't want to make him upset,

but neither do I wish to upset her.

Yet, who even cares that -

I'm the most upset one around here.

More reason to love chocolates?

This is exciting news!

"Bioactive ingredients found in cocoa sharply reversed age-related memory decline in a group of volunteers, scientists reported on Sunday...

The scientists carried out brain imaging, measuring blood volume in a key part of the hippocampus called the dentate gyrus, a region of memory formation whose performance typically declines as one ages.

"If a participant had the memory of a typical 60-year old at the beginning of the study, after three months, that person on average had the memory of a typical 30- or 40-year-old," said Scott Small, a professor of neurology at Columbia University Medical Center in New York.

Flavonols have excited great interest. They dangle the possibility of tackling age-related memory loss in the world's fast-growing population of elderly but without using drugs.

The compounds exist in grapes, blueberries and other fruit as well as in some vegetables and teas, but the type of flavanol and the amount vary widely.

Sadly... Small also said that it would be a mistake to consume more chocolate.

Then again, great fact (assuming it has attained the status of a fact) to take note of - let's keep ourselves and our loved ones healthy! :D

The weekend (that hasn't started and yet has ended)

This pretty much sums up how I spent my weekend.

Friday was just.. nasty - got completely knocked out for half a day because my head and eyes were hurting so effin' much. I knew something was off the minute I woke that morning because my eyes got so sensitive to the light streaming in through the window but the discomfort just got worse.

Saturday and Sunday are slight improvements but I'm still feeling quite lethargic. The swell's gone (yay) but yeah, still drained of energy.

(flops onto bed)

Is the week over already?

The less important bits of everyday life

"TAKE THIS!"

During class last week, I suggested that we discuss our group presentation on Googledocs over the weekend so that we would have made enough progress by our first meeting (today) to get things done efficiently and effectively. The Googledoc was created, instructions given by another group member and more importantly, a deadline was set (the irony). We were supposed to insert our research findings in the document any time from Friday to Wednesday but the last I checked, hey! it's Thursday today and there's. absolutely. nothing in the document apart from my materials. It's fine if you think the module's unimportant but at least respect the deadline and respect your fellow group members. Or if you're not planning to adhere to the deadline, let the rest know! We said we would get work done - now, where's the work? Does this mean that we have to spend an additional hour or two discussing what we could have easily done online over the weekend? Why do I have to waste my precious time on that? I don't wish to sound petty but (1) I hate long and inefficient meetings (2) wahlau, people got more important things to do okay.

This isn't a big deal and I'm not unbelievably annoyed or anything but.. it's irritating. PIKA-PIKA-CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

In other news, I'm going to meet a Thai friend tonight for dinner-supper-I-don't-know-what. SAWADEEKA~ welcome to the land of smiles (:

When he asked to meet up a couple months back, the post-exchange me was like, "OH YEAH, sure! let's catch up and have some fun!" Fast forward two months. Now.... the very-post-exchange me is like, "ummmmm (twiddle thumbs nervously) I haven't seen him in over two years and I don't know/remember the other study trip people so.. what are we going to talk about? What am I going to talk about? What am I going to DOWILLITBEOHSOAWKWARDNOPLEASENOGURGLEUR?!!" (dissolves into hysterical gibberish) Hahaha don't worry, it's just me and my social anxiety.

(Alright, it's time for some work.)

Let it be a good dinner and catching up session!

Updates
[7.30 p.m.] Alighted from bus at bus stop before Tomlinson Road, thinking, "Where in the world is this?!" Starts peering at GoogleMaps
[7.32 p.m.] Recognised the place! This is the route my bus takes on the way home! But..... to walk from here, seriously? I recall Tanglin Mall being much farther down the road.. (starts walking anyway) "Let's walk more quickly if it's really that far."
[7.43 p.m.] Stops walking and starts mapping out the area in my mind. This can't be the right route! It'll probably take me 20 minutes or more to walk all the way there.. which can't be the case since GoogleMaps described it as a 600m walk! (decides to retrace my steps to the bus stop and in the meantime, realises that the area's awfully dark and that there's hardly anyone around)
[7.47 p.m.] Speed walks all the way back to the brightly lit intersection. On the way back, I got a fright from my own shadows and was very startled when I stepped on some twigs and dry leaves (honestly thought I stepped on some nocturnal creature). "Let's just follow the directions on my phone and cross the road!"
[7.52 p.m.] Is this the hotel...? Four Seaso- urgh no! (tired and sweaty by now) Just keep walkin'! But why is it so warm and humid tonight?? (continues glancing around at my surroundings to make sure no one's following me)
[7.58 p.m.] (stays far away from the dark buildings and bushes - that was how scared I was Orz) It has gotta be here.. here.. IT'S HERE! Couldn't have been happier to see the words, St. Regis.
[8.00 p.m.] Greeted the doorman a good evening and ignoring the stares from the hotel lobby staff, collapsed into the biggest armchair I saw. "I reached on time!" (we had arranged to meet at 8 p.m.)

...

[8.10 p.m.] Checks phone and realises SAWADEEKAP is still at the airport! (decides to rest, stares at statue and ripples across the water surface)
[8.20 p.m.] Flight landed a long time ago but the baggage belt isn't sending out the passengers' luggages! (ooh, there's a wedding going on upstairs! enjoys music whilst waiting... observes wedding guests.. Where are they going midway through the wedding with a glass of wine??!)
[8.30 p.m.] No one in sight so.. let's take a walk to the washroom.
[8.36 p.m.] The lighting's good! Shall we take a selca? (nayy, let's delete it) Time to go back out to the lobby and my armchair~~
[8.40 p.m.] I'm bored. (goes back to people watching and statue staring)
[8.45 p.m.] I'm bored. (yet I refused to use my laptop after staring at it for the whole day already - silly me)
[8.50 p.m.] I'm bored. (oooh, that guy's enormous. At least 1.9m?)
[9.05 p.m.] I'm bored. (decides to sleep but fails)
[9.15 p.m.] Time to sleep? (did I already have dinner?)

[9.20 p.m.] SAWADEEKAAAAAA! THE DIVA SAUNTERS IN LIKE A DIVA. (too hilarious)

[9.30 p.m.] Visits his suite. Completely wowed. (checked the room rate for his room today and realised that it's an exorbitant $1350/night o.m.g.) There goes my plans for a St. Regis staycation.
[9.40 p.m.] Yay it's time for dinner! Drives to Ippudo and had a wonderful dinner (because of the company and not the average-tasting ramen).
[10.55 p.m.] It's time to say goodbye! (sobs)

Overall, I had a fantastic time with them yesterday (: I'm really thankful that we're still friends after 2+ years and even happier that I turned up for dinner yesterday. Without them, I wouldn't have such a great Thursday night or the chance to walk through scarily dark streets and explore the luxurious St. Regis Hotel! ^^

Great things await outside of our comfort zones.

Tuesday Afternoon

Expectation

4PM: EAL Project

6PM: Equity Readings

8PM: Ethics Presentation

10PM: PPCL Assignment

- I CAN DO IT RAWRS -

Reality

4PM: Eat handmade yoghurt (thanks jie! yummy!)

4.30PM: Watch Running Man

6PM: Sleep (as instructed by mum)

8.30PM: Dinner

10PM: (looks at to-do list and laughs hysterically)

- SUCH IS A PANDA'S LIFE -

Me

I looked into the mirror this morning and this is what I saw.

Bad dreams, Go away!

Yesterday's dream was a totally horrible one again.

I was literally shaking with rage right before I woke - with tears of anger and exasperation running down my face (now, that's a first) - and apparently, I was also talking in my sleep.

Thinking about it, I don't even get why I dreamt of something like that. It's absurd and absolutely makes no sense. If dreams do indeed reflect our subconscious thoughts, I'm not too sure what my dream was trying to tell me. There was quite a bit of slapping, shouting, crying and water splashing (three cups-worth, with me doing the splashing) going on (what a mess!) but what stood out the most was the feelings of betrayal and anger. The dream-me got so, insanely angry. I guess the dream eventually maxed out its capacity to keep the dreamy emotions within dreamyverse so they inevitably spilled over into reality. However, apart from waking me up abruptly this morning and gifting me with a headache, I'm still unsure of the significance of the dream. To remind me to release all the pent up emotions? Or that I should let my self get really, really angry one day just to let it all out? And maybe even slap a person or two? (-_______-)\

I just want my rest.

I just wanna sleep.

GO AWAY NIGHTMARES.

Perhaps it's time to seriously consider getting a dreamcatcher.

Happiness can be bought after all!

$10 managed to buy me..

The family's favourite SunMoon salad - the vendor was really generous today, much to my pleasant surprise! I even got a complimentary banana!;

2 delicious Kaya puffs; and

1 cup of bubble tea!!

It was really quite tiring having to take the train, walk to International Plaza, take the train again, walk to the two shops, take the bus and walk home because my bags were heavy today.. but it was totally worth it. The salad helped cheer my sister up (I hope? ^3^), tonight's dinner atmosphere was delightful (to the extent that I overate - ah, the discomfort - but at least, I ate happily yay) and my mum got her bubble tea fix (although I have to admit I drank most of it hahahah)! (: It always feels good to do something for the people we love. (beams)

I hope everyone had a happy night today as well.

Goodnight, world! (for once, I'm not thinking of running away) Chu~!

The Great Escape

TGIF, not.

Things that went wrong today:

1. Dropped phone on concrete ground

2. That almost yanked my ears out because I was listening to music then

3. Laptop decided to play a joke on me. It's fine if the browser doesn't work for now but.. to not be able to print my research paper?!?! AFTSAJEHWUA?! You gotta be kidding me. I mean, of all days, today?!! (flops onto ground)

4. My backup plan - the thumbdrive was acting funny so the thumbdrive terminal at the library couldn't detect the USB (I even prepared for it but no way would I have imagined that I would need a backupbackup plan ._.)

So I ended up at the IITS office, trying to figure out what went wrong. Sigh.

I started the day with a splitting headache (no thanks to the late nights over the past week) and now, everything just hurts. I think I really need sleep. Uninterrupted sleep, no nightmares, no nothing. 

#CANTHENIGHTMARESJUSTGOAWAY #EQUITYGOAWAYTOO

I'm so not looking forward to the arrival of next week. Just check out the list of things to do over the next 2 days:

1. Equity Week 9 readings and Seminar Qns

2. PPCL readings (new night elective starting from next week)

3. Ethics Research paper (another RP?!)

    (I can't breathe or can I?)

4. EAL Written Assignment

    (whimpers)

5. EAL Group Project

6. Catch up on Equity Week 1-7 readings

7. Catch up on EAL readings and attempt practice questions

Woohoo. Sounds challenging! Sounds murderous!

Bleargh. Is this a dream?

Wake me up when it's vacation time.

My Obsession with Empress Ki

It has been a somewhat unhealthy obsession but I'm finally done with all 51 episodes. It has also been one 'ella of an emotional roller coaster ride but I don't regret watching it one bit. With its gripping plot and powerful performances by Ha Ji Won, Ji Chang Wook (this puppy dog can sure act) and Joo Jin Mo etc, this drama definitely lives up to its reputation (as 2013's Best Series Drama). It portrays a riveting account of the Mongolian empire and narrates a semi-fictional story about the lives of Toghon Temür (1320-1370) and his empress, Empress Ki. It's impressive how the drama explored the themes of loyalty, love, hate, injustice and patriotism and I could empathise with all the emotions the main characters felt. Perhaps, a little too much, for it messed me up for a while (consequence of investing too much feelings) and affected my daily routine. That aside, it got me really interested in the Mongol Empire and its Khagans (whom we know more familiarly as Khans) and when I have the time, I'll go read up more on the history of the Mongolians! How exciting!

All thanks to the drama, I love Ha Ji Won and Jin Yi Han now! :3

 Just because I like archery :P

And she's such a cool/strong/amazing/pretty/capable role model.

Sungnyang and Tal Tal!! 

What a dashing young man! *_*

My sister calls him the small-eyed guy but that's precisely what I love about him! I love his eyes and his intense-until-can-shoot-laser-beams-and-melt-womens-hearts gaze when he get all serious.

 Two words; 

Completely smitten.

Note to self: You can find Yi Han and Jaejoong's news here! Such a coincidence that they're best friends hehe! (fated to like him haha)

The Maze Runner

I finally watched 'The Maze Runner' today!

It's my first time watching a movie on my own - hahah despite my mum's protests all these while - but hey, it was fine, quite unsurprisingly. Initially, it felt strange not having anyone sitting next to me and I have to admit, the crowded theatre made me pretty self-conscious of the conspicuously empty seat next to me as well.. but once the lights in the theatres dimmed and the movie started, it didn't really bother me much. I just settled back into the less than comfy chair and enjoyed the movie!

The movie was a reasonable watch (kudos to the action scenes) and I enjoyed it quite a lot. The running scenes were well-executed and the pace of the movie appropriate. My only grouse is the ridiculously expensive $12 movie ticket.. The seats weren't even that comfortable (Lido has great seats in comparison, albeit too upright) and more importantly, I think they skipped the carpet-cleaning for the week (hopefully, not weeks). There was this stale carpety smell all around me (dismal sigh) and it was difficult to even breathe normally. This is at Bugis Shaw by the way!

I really wanted to watch this movie (which explains why I watched it alone because nobody else wanted to watch it and it's ending its run in the theatres soon) for 2 reasons:

1. I read the entire series (by James Dashner)
2. The lead's Dylan O'brien!

(aww yes, I do too)

He's leaner and meaner in the movie (I'm sure he's hiding a ripped body under those ragged shirts hoho) but I'd choose Stiles over Thomas any day! I don't think he got to display his full range of acting abilities in the movie (the emotions portrayed oscillated between desperation and sadness, which Dylan does brilliantly anyway) so I was a lil disappointed.. but it might get better in the subsequent movies! I honestly can't wait for more Dylan. (beams) When he isn't busy being the goofy, loyal sidekick in Teen Wolf, he's off saving the world in 'Maze Runner'. A manly and smokin' hot Dylan? ANY DAY. Hahaha :D

The movie does justice to the series (the work with grievers was so awesome - they were hideous and damn freakin' scary) and manages to bring most of the major characters to life but.. I just feel that depth is lacking in some of the main characters. In particular, Newt, Thomas and Minho (Alby and Gally were killed off so I shall exclude them). It could be the inexperienced actors or the lack of time (just 113 minutes!) but the filmmakers were not too successful in developing both the plot and the characters concurrently. They did a great job with the setting and background story but there were simply too many characters crammed into those 113 minutes, so something/someone inevitably had to make way (sadly, it was character development). Overall, it wasn't too bad though (: I'm looking forward to the next instalment already!

If I had to pick out some stuff I didn't like:

• The female lead when asleep, looked disturbingly like Kristen Stewart (of Twilight fame and whose acting I dislike) and she got so little screen time, she might as well not have been in the first film! I don't recall her role being that insignificant..
• I also don't recall Newt being a British boy (I have to revisit the book). It was so odd to hear Dylan speaking in his American accent and Newt replying in that posh English accent (doesn't help that it reminds me of Hermione every single time)! Newt also looks awfully young (I can't believe he's a 90-liner because he looks like a tall little boy) and that distracts me from his acting because I'm so not convinced that this is the Newt I know in the series. And then we have the Korean speaking with an American accent stronger than Dylan's and... the rest with I don't know what other accents haha

How is this a 24 year old? He looks 16! He looks like Jeremy Sumpter!

• I think Lee Ki Hong does a great job of looking like Minho but.. he should work more on his facial expressions. I can't tell when he's smirking or when he's genuinely upset because he has this smug, amused expression on most of the time. His friend just got banished into the Maze and he looks more confused/lost than distraught haha Then again, he's not a newbie actor so emoting shouldn't be the real problem - perhaps the script?
• Lastly, more dialogue (especially with the lead, Thomas) and less action with saliva-spitting, gooey and slimy Grievers please! 

ALL HAIL DYLAN! (melts into a puddle of pudding)

And because I can never get enough of Dylan... here's what he feels about the The Maze Runner series.

Queen of Procrastination

If I stop procrastinating, I'm pretty sure I can finish my work or at least, much of my work.

Then again, I want time for rest.

I can't decide if Wednesday is rest day for reading the papers, watching the television, listening to music, sleeping and just relaxing or if it's yet another mugging day.

I find myself feeling anxious most of the time (anxiety has been featuring way too much in life this year argh) and it doesn't feel good. Whilst the equity 'symptoms' have (very thankfully) gradually reduced in severity over the weeks (prolly also due to the hiatus in class participation efforts oops), the body still doesn't feel entirely well. It could be the haze - shouldn't rule that out - but it gets difficult sometimes. (gasps for air)

Ah, 25 minutes more to the baffling thing we call EAL. Then, 3 more hours till dinner and home!

I can't wait to go home and yet, 'home' also translates into a research paper which is impatiently awaiting my arrival. (zooms away like road runner) Just kidding, we fight, not take flight!

Till then!

Today

I just overheard a very bizarre conversation in the toilet.

Girl: Wah - just now I had such a bad stomachache in class.
Friend: Oh no, then how?
Girl: Right after class, I chiong-ed off, chiong to go shit.
Friend: Where did you go (shit)?
Girl: SOB toilets there lor.

It's completely bizarre for two reasons:
1. Why would you even ask where your friend went to shit (I was like, WHUT?! Asking out of courtesy or genuine interest?!)??
2. Even if your friend asked, why would you tell your friend the exact location where you took a dump??! (you have been warned. steer clear of SOB loos lol!)

Kids can sometimes be so weird these days.

That pretty much sums up the time spent in school today. Strange and uncomfortable.

Thankfully, lunch and dinner took place outside of those damn green walls so at least, I got to see a little bit of sunshine and some fresh air.

I had lunch with a friend I've not seen in a while (and that felt good). It hurts to see my reassuring presence looking so worn out though. On a brighter note, I finally got to try Momolato again! They no longer have the delicious strawberry ice cream that I tried 7 months ago (so sad!!!) but hazelnut's fine too. It.. tasted like a milkier version of Ferrero Rocher. The lunch got me thinking about some real serious stuff but I think I'm just too tired right now to think much haha I just spaceeeeed out when I was eating my ice cream. I was also supposed to work on my research paper after lunch but since I feel quite out of sorts (aka in no state to do equity), I ended up doing my ethics readings. Somewhat not useful readings but at least I feel like I'm getting some work done and not merely wasting time. Equity will have to work till tonight..

Time to go for dinner now, till then!

Happy thoughts (:

I'll find something happy and merry to post about soon! Until then, have a great week, everyone!

Sometimes, it's okay to stop focusing on being happy and just focus on living.

I haven't been in the best frame of mind to do much work today (I know the research paper's deadline is ticking away) so I shall just have an early night for once!

May tomorrow be a better day, I sincerely hope.

Hello and Goodbye

A friend is away in a foreign land for the next 4 months.

It's not as if we meet each other that often when we're all in the same country, but it just feels different knowing that he's 2776.91 miles away. That's awfully far.

Have fun though! (: And see you back next year!

Irreversible damage.

There are some things that must never be said to certain people. You can't just take it back and pretend nothing happened, not without an apology.. but honestly, I'm not even sure what such an apology will be worth or if it even has any significance at all. You cannot simply go around stabbing people's hearts and then expect an apology to suddenly make things right. Nobody in this world should be allowed to do this. These wounds don't heal, I'll have you know it, and some things can never be forgotten.

As if that weren't bad enough, you forced me into a corner and made me say equally damning things I didn't mean. I never meant to hurt you the same way you did to me, but if turning into a heartless monster is the only defensive mechanism I have, then don't blame me. Please stop before things escalate any further. Take responsibility. Make amends.

If you can't make things better, at the very least don't make things worse.

等 一個人 咖啡 語錄 (Cafe, Waiting, Love)

＂這個世界上，每一個人，都在等一個人。＂ （天使）

我知道我為什麼喜歡你，但你為什麼會喜歡上我呢？我... “沒什麼特別”，“比普通人還要普通”。（思螢）

（對呀.. 有時還真這麼想...）

＂每一個人都在等一個人，等待一個能看見你與眾不同的那一個人。＂ （天使）


（看來，我是還沒等到這個人啊..）

What a strange dream indeed.

A Reminder:

You're treading on dangerous ground.

Remember what you said about him,

And let it all stay where it belongs - the dream.

Envy, if any, must remain as just that,

Do not waver and lose the balance..!

Guilt

Alright, I admit it.

I can't focus on school.

I can't focus on studying.

I can't focus on the things going on around me.

What should I do?

Hunt for the best Korean cuisine in Singapore

제일 맛있는 팥빙수!

Maddie's guide to 팥빙수s (pronounced 'pat-bing-su') in Korea!

I have many friends creating lists of the best patbingsu they've had in Korea so I decided to create my very own list too, for the benefit of anyone who's travelling to Korea as well as my future travels (memory's not perfect haha) :D

1. 희동아 엄마다 ** (the BEST bingsu I've ever had in Korea)

Chocolate Mochi Cake (a tad too pricey for my liking)

Where: Seoul, Jongno-gu Sogyeok-dong 104
서울 종로구 소격동 104
General location (and nearest train station): Samcheongdong, Anguk Station (Line 3)
Yummy meter:
The slightly sweet ice is extremely delicate and melts in your mouth instantly. Apart from the great consistency of the ice's texture, there is a layer of red beans and peanut powder sandwiched in the bowl of ice, ensuring that every scoop comes with an even mixture of ice, milk, red beans and peanut powder. Absolutely lovely dessert. It is definitely on the pricey side - a normal patbingsu costs around 6000-8000W but this costs 12,900-13,900W ($16-17). Definitely worth it though!
How to get there: (I used GoogleMaps)
Take Exit #1 of Anguk Station, walk straight past Starbucks (around 400m) till one reaches the fork at Yulgok-ro-3-gil. One will pass by Songadang (red signboard on right) and Ming Wen Tang (blue signboard on left). Turn left (Gallery Plant on right), walk straight and turn right when one sees Guk Dae Tteokpokki. Cross the junction to Paris Baguette and continue walking along the street. The café is down an alley on the left.

To learn more: Visit this site (it has a map with an aerial view of the Samcheongdong area) and this blog for more information.

2. 호밀팥
Where: 4-77 Changcheon-dong, Seodaemun-gu, Seoul, South Korea
서울특별시 서대문구 창천동 4-77
General location (and nearest train station): Sinchon, Sinchon Station (Line 2)
Yummy meter:
How to get there:
To learn more:

3. 팟팟팟 (PodPodPod)

Where: 52-85 Changcheon-dong, Seodaemun-gu, Seoul, South Korea
서울특별시 서대문구 창천동 52-85
General location (and nearest train station): Sinchon, Sinchon Station (Line 2)
Yummy meter:
How to get there:
To learn more:

4. Holly's Coffee (Red Bean Patbingsu)

Where: Everywhere (just keep a look out for the cafe!)
General location (and nearest train station): Sinchon, Dongdaemun, Myeongdong Stations etc.
Yummy meter:
I love the dried dates chips!!! CRUNCHYYYY!
How to get there:
To learn more:

5. 밀탑 (MealTop)

Milk bingsu (top); Mixed fruits bingsu (bottom)

Bestseller: Milk bingsu
Where: 83 Sinchon-ro, Seodaemun-gu, Hyundai Department Store, Sinchon branch, 10/F, Seoul, South Korea
General location (and nearest train station): Sinchon, Sinchon Station (Line 2)
Other recommended locations (main branch): Hyundai Department Store, Apgujeong branch, 5/F, 429 Apgujeong-dong, Gangnam-gu (강남구 압구정동 429 현대백화점본점 5층) Click here for directions.
Yummy meter:
How to get there:

Take exit #1 at Sinchon station (Line 2). Walk straight and Hyundai Department Store should be on your right. Enter the Hyundai Department Store and take the lift to the 10th floor. [Tip: Store closes really early - around 8 or 9pm - so do visit it earlier!]

6. 설빙 (Seolbing or 'snow ice')
Where: Mapo-gu, Seogyodong, 358-37, Level 2 (I don't remember it being on the 2nd floor though)
General location (and nearest train station): Hongdae, Hongdae Station
Other locations: Sinchon, Ewha, Gangnam etc.
Yummy meter:
I tried 2 types of Bingsu
How to get there:
To learn more: If you're not salivating by now, you need to read this.

7. Cafe Benne

Where: Everywhere! (just keep a look out for the cafe)
General location (and nearest train station): Hyehwa Station, Sinchon Station etc.
Yummy meter:
I tried 2 types of bingsu - chocolate and oreo (please skip the latter if you have to eat your bingsu here). The ice was so coarse and hard, we had to bite down hard on them with every mouthful (texture worse than ice kachang!). It didn't feel like we were eating shaved ice, rather it tasted like bits and pieces of ice. The only redeeming point of the chocolate bingsu was that it came with brownie chunks and cornflakes (!!) so at least, it was enjoyable. The oreo bingsu was forgettable - just imagine layers of ice bits and crushed oreo. That's basically what it was.
How to get there:
To learn more:

8. 달수다 (Dalsuda)
Where: 366-12. Seogyo-dong, Mapo-gu, Seoul
General location (and nearest train station): Hongdae, Hongdae Station (Line 2)
Yummy meter:
How to get there:
To learn more: Visit this site to find out more about the types of bingsus offered and directions/map to the place.

9. Choco Blossom Café
Where:
General location (and nearest train station): Sinchon, Sinchon Station (Line 2)
Yummy meter:
How to get there: Take the subway to Sinchon Station (Line 2) and exit via U-Plex Departmental Store (which exit number?). Upon exiting the station, you should see a huge red mirror. Cross the road right next to the mirror towards the Nature Republic store. You should see a wooden installation (where people can sit). Walk straight for 200-250m (~5-7 mins) until you see a Tofu Soup place (insert picture). Turn right into the side street and you will see the stairs leading to Choco Blossom on your right (basement!).
To learn more: For very detailed directions (with photographs of the streets), please visit this site!

10. 옥루몽
Where:
General location (and nearest train station): Sinchon, Sinchon Station (Line 2); Dongdaemun Design Plaza walkway, Dongdaemun Station
Yummy meter:
How to get there:
To learn more: This blogger has a pretty comprehensive review of this place here.

11. (hmm bingsu place in Sinchon where I met Zenn)
Where:
General location (and nearest train station): Sinchon, Sinchon Station (Line 2)
Yummy meter:
How to get there:
To learn more:

Sinchon is teeming with bingsu cafés right now.

For more recommendations (if the sugar rush from above is still not enough), you can check out these articles: <6 best bingsu to beat the heat>, <9 Mega Awesome Places to Get Patbingsu in Seoul> and Seoul Eat's post! ^^ (slurps)